


Mine

by CaptainoftheRirenShip



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bad Ending, Character Death, F/F, F/M, Gore, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Violence, Yandere Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), character death everywhere, everyone dies, lots of blood, no not really, one person survives, serious character death, warning you now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-19
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 02:10:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 26,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5029642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainoftheRirenShip/pseuds/CaptainoftheRirenShip
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's dreams came true when not only did his superior (AKA biggest crush ever) agree to go out with him, but reciprocated the feelings! However, he realizes he may have gotten more than he bargained for; Levi loves him very much, bordering obsession, and will do anything to keep others away. Riren/Ereri, M for gore and character death, yandere!Levi</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> To all readers, welcome! To new ones, thanks for checking me out! To those coming because of my previous fics, welcome back, and thanks for continuing to deal with my sorry ass xD
> 
> My first attempt at something bloody and gory. This chapter is basically just a prelude to the mess of what the actual fuck.
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously don't own SnK

"I-I like you, Captain!"

Levi narrowed his eyes at his charge, and Eren felt his face heat up even more. The brunet didn't even know he could blush that much. He lowered his gaze, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

 _I can't believe I thought this was a good idea,_ was the grim, defeated thought reiterating itself every few seconds in the silence that followed. Eren picked at his nails nervously as he waited for something, some response. A rejection. A rebuke. A confession, maybe? But no, that last one was much too hopeful.

"I like you too, Eren."

Or maybe not.

"What?"

"Are you deaf or stupid? I reciprocate the feelings, Jaeger."

"I-I – I understand you, s-sir!" Eren said quickly, head jerking back up so he could meet Levi's grey eyes, which were alight with something unfamiliar. "I just..."

"Spit it out."

"I just... didn't expect you to feel the same?" Eren responded hesitantly. "I figured best-case scenario was you just calling me a brat and sending me off, and I'd get it off my chest..."

"Well, lucky you." Levi rested his chin on his fist. He may have been sitting down but he still managed to make Eren feel shorter with just a look. "Might I ask how this came about?"

"E-Eh?"

"When did this start? Or rather, when did you come to realize?"

"Well..." Eren thought back on it, cringing inwardly at some of the memories included. "Well, you know I practically hero-worship you –"

"You're sure this isn't hero-worship?"

"Sir, you asked me a question, may I finish?"

Levi quirked an eyebrow at the cheeky retaliation, but relented. "Continue."

"Thank you. Anyways, well, when I got put in your care, while not under the best conditions, it was a dream come true. If it didn't disgust you I would have kissed the ground you walked on. I still would," Eren added as an afterthought.

"Gross."

"My point exactly. Moving on," Eren continued hurriedly. "I realized then though that you were a lot different than I expected, but it made you seem even cooler. Calm, collected, strong, quiet, and the crudest sense of humor out of anyone I've ever known. And the way you were with others was so strange! You never spoke differently to anyone, but it was obvious if they were more important to you through... I don't know... you're just _different_ to them. I grew to love all your weird little quirks and habits and how nice you really are. People don't understand just how good a person you are.

"Then after the incident with the Female Titan... well, when the Special Ops squad..." Eren struggled then, faltering for the first time, but Levi wasn't having it.

"Died, Eren. Just say it."

"W-When they died," Eren reluctantly repeated, then continued on, "my stupid little crush grew. Because I saw then... I learned just how human you are. I learned that even you get hurt from those sorts of things and I realized how hard it must have been for you any other time. You've always been so alone, you're always isolating yourself, but I want to be there for you."

A pause, then a soft chuckle. "Damn it, you little brat, you're just too cute."

"Ah – what about you, Captain? Why do you like me?"

Levi rested his chin in his hand, eyes roving up and down Eren's form, making him feel like a piece of prey. "First, all I could really think when it came to you was that you were a stupid suicidal kid. That turned into the cute hardworking brat with pretty eyes." He gestured for Eren to come closer, taking pride in the brunet's flushed cheeks. "Then it moved on to that fine ass," he purred, earning a squeak and flinch when Levi's hand crept up to firmly squeeze a cheek. He continued by grabbing Eren's collar and yanking him down to his level.

"Then I was captivated by these beautiful, untouched lips, and I decided I wanted – _needed_ – to make something dirty for once. I can't explain it."

Eren shivered at Levi's intense gaze, dry lips parting slightly so he could wet them with his tongue. He wasn't sure what he'd expected from this exchange, but this wasn't it. Not that he was complaining. The raven's next words came in a low whisper that left no speculation about what he was planning.

"I'll give you one chance to back down."

"Not for the world, sir."

.-.-.-.-.

"Morning, Eren."

Eren blinked sluggishly. He finally managed to crack an eye open properly after a few moments, seeing a tender look on Levi's face.

"Ah... good morning, captain..."

"Levi."

"Levi, right..." Eren burrowed closer to Levi's bare chest, closing his eyes again. _Captain is really warm. He seems like he would be a cold person, but really, he's like a personal heater._ "What time is it?"

"Sunrise was several hours ago," Levi informed him.

"Several hours?!" Eren shot up, immediately crying out as pain laced through his lower back. Levi was immediately on him, a firm hand pushing him back down onto the bed.

"And that's why. You're excused from duties. It is my fault, after all."

Eren reluctantly allowed himself to fall back into bed - Levi's bed, he realized. He wanted to argue, wanted to insist he shouldn't be given special treatment, but with the ache he was feeling doubled with the warmth of the bed compared to his cold one in the cellar, he couldn't bring himself to complain. He would just enjoy this while it lasted...

Which just so happened to be most of the day. Levi kept in his room most of the day, working quietly at his desk, seemingly lost in all the paperwork. He'd only left three times so far; once for breakfast for them both, the second time to fetch Eren's clean uniform, and the third to retrieve their lunch. Eren stayed quiet for the most part, though he avoided keeping in bed all day. He'd made the bed upon getting dressed, then found himself curled up in a chair. Half of him wanted to go join his fellow cadets even if they were doing more chores, but the other half just wanted to stay and relax. Besides, he kept napping on and off, and before he knew it the sun was going down.

A gentle hand on his shoulder awoke him, and Eren looked up to see Levi's stoic expression.

"Come on, brat. I think you can make it down to the mess hall for dinner, hm?"

Eren nodded sluggishly, unfolding himself from the stiff underused chair and stretching. The ache returned, but it was much more manageable than before. Levi ruffled his hair and Eren automatically smiled at the action, feeling almost like a pet with how happy the simple gesture made him. But as they started the trek downstairs, a question sprung up in his mind that shattered his peaceful mood, and he couldn't stop himself from blurting it out.

"Sir, are we going to make this - us - public?"

Levi glanced back at him, one eyebrow cocked questioningly. "Do you want it to be public?"

"I-I don't know. I guess I don't mind, but don't you want it to be secret?"

"That settles it, then, we aren't going to hide it." Levi sounded so matter-of-fact compared to Eren's stammering. "I don't give a fuck, and if you don't mind, I'd rather not tiptoe around people. It gets ridiculous."

"Oh. Well. Okay, then."Eren was surprised, but he supposed it made sense. Relationships were encouraged among same-sex soldiers in the Corps. It allowed for comfort in such a dreary environment, for several ways of stress relief, and it prevented pregnancies among the soldiers. The Survey Corps didn't have the option to kick soldiers out over relationships, anyways. They needed all the soldiers they could get.

After a moment of hesitation, Eren reached forward and grabbed Levi's hand. To his shock and pleasure, the corporal didn't even flinch, but instead laced their fingers together and gave a reassuring squeeze.

They walked into the dining hall like that, and many soldiers quieted, greenhorns and veterans alike, but they knew better than to stare in silence for fear of Levi's wrath. Though many were obviously curious, the conversations started back up again as though they'd never stopped. The duo took it as their cue to retrieve their dinner, and they parted ways, as Levi took his usual seat with the superiors and Eren sat among his friends.

He supposed he should have expected the barrage of questions from his friends and death threats from his sister, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He looked across the room to Levi, who was being harassed in the same manner by Hanji. Their eyes met briefly, and Eren quickly looked down at his plate, grinning like an idiot. He couldn't even let Mikasa's anger ruin his mood.

Right now, he felt like the luckiest man alive, and he was sure nothing would change that.

.-.-.-.-.

_I can't believe my luck. I can't believe any of this. I can't believe Captain likes me!_

_Captain is surprisingly affectionate. Mind-blowing in bed, but very nice, almost cuddly afterwards. It's cute._

_This is so strange though. It's weird to see him let his guard down around me. But I like it._

_I'm glad he likes me. I won't let him go for anything._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm surprised how many people were interested tbh
> 
> and the shitstorm begins brewing...
> 
> also *watches the fourth wall crumble* Lion King references

"Yo, Eren! It's about time you helped us with something!"

"'S not my fault," the brunet argued, rolling his eyes as he refilled one of the horse's water trough. He followed behind Connie as the bald kid scrubbed away at them, as instructed by Levi. Whenever he finished cleaning one, Eren filled it. "Captain keeps insisting me for all these little jobs like his laundry and cleaning his office."

"Can't say I blame him," Reiner laughed from where he was washing a horse. "Who wouldn't wanna stare at your fine ass all day?"

Jean gagged audibly from just outside the stables, and both Bertholdt and Eren gasped out in unison, "Reiner!"

The large blond reassured them both quickly, grinning. "Seriously, though, I gotta admit, I was pretty surprised to find out. Congratulations, Eren, you managed to avoid my gaydar."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Thanks. But you might wanna calibrate that thing. Have you picked up on Jean yet?"

"Oh, obviously. Everyone knows how gay Jean is. Maybe that's why it never picked you up, Jean always made it go haywire."

"Fuck you guys!" Jean shouted, poking his head through the doorway.

"Jean, you rascal! Eren has a boyfriend!"

"And I'm not into bestiality," Eren chimed in on Connie's joking.

"Screw you all," the two-toned kid spat.

"Whoa, whoa, slow down there, horseface," Reiner said. "Don't be a man-whore."

Jean was clearly biting back another "fuck you" as he flipped them off and resumed re-painting the outer walls of the stables. They all laughed at him but Bertholdt, who merely rolled his eyes up as if asking what to do with them. After all, the oldest of all of them was only seventeen; they were a bunch of teenage idiots left to their own devices.

Reiner finished washing the last horse, and stretched briefly. "Damn, finally. I'm gonna go nap before Captain hunts me down for some other random task."

"For your sake, I hope I didn't just hear what I think I heard, Braun."

Eren cringed upon seeing who was behind the blond, sending his friend a pitying look. Reiner whirled around to face Levi and they all threw up salutes, Connie doing his best not to laugh.

"Good afternoon, sir!"

"Cut the shit, Braun. If you're such an efficient worker, why don't you get to helping Kirschstein's lazy ass?"

"Sir, yes sir!"

Levi rolled his eyes, then his gaze landed on Eren. "Jaeger, when you're done, Hanji expects you up in her office for experiments. I would suggest hurrying the pace."

"Yes, sir."

"All of you lazy brats, back to work."

The boys snapped into action, not relaxing until Levi was out of their sight and they were sure he was gone. Connie slumped over, groaning. "Man, Eren, your little boyfriend is as strict as ever," he complained. Eren rolled his eyes.

"Of course he is," the brunet said. "He's still captain. He's not going to go light on anyone."

"Think you could convince him to lessen the blows?" Connie asked, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh, fuck you. Even if I could, I wouldn't." Eren rolled his eyes and dumped water in a freshly cleaned trough. "And I'm almost certain he'd kick my ass for even trying. He'll know what I'm trying to do right off the bat."

Reiner walked past, slapping Eren's ass and promptly knocking him over into the water. "He wouldn't kick your ass, it's too fine, like I said," he laughed loudly.

Eren sat up, spluttering and flicking his arms in an attempt to get dry, which splattered water over Connie. As his bald friend complained, Eren huffed, "I need an adult. I call sexual harassment."

"Oh, psh," Reiner said dismissively, knowing Eren was joking. He waggled his eyebrows, grinning like a dork. "Don't lie, I got you wet."

Connie snorted and started laughing, Jean let out an amused whinny, and Bertholdt covered his face with his hands. Eren did his best not to grin, shaking his head. "Aww, you're right, I'm sorry. How about a hug?"

Reiner placed his hands out in front of him as Eren advanced. "Nah, I'm good, you can stay over there."

"Accept my affection, Reiner~"

"Nope, no! Back up!"

Reiner turned to run away, but it opened the door to Eren launching himself at the hulking blond and latching onto his back in a four-limbed embrace. "Awwh, Reiner, you're my  _best friend,_ don't reject me! Caaaaan you feeeeel the loooove toniiiight?"

Reiner gave up, going limp as the water seeped through Eren's clothes into his own. Connie was overcome with laughter, and Jean was thumping his back to stop him coughing. Eren released Reiner after a moment, shaking his head wildly and splattering water all over Reiner.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go change. Fuck you, Reiner."

"If you insist."

Eren gave Reiner a mock disgusted expression, rolling his eyes and stomping childishly out of the barn. Shortly after his exit, Reiner removed his damp shirt and draped it over an empty stall door to dry.

.-.-.-.-.

Eren dried his hair vigorously. After seeing Eren's state and hearing the story, Levi had told Eren to shower, seeing as the water they fed the horses was nowhere near sanitary enough for Levi's standards. That raised a lot of questions, but Eren didn't voice any of them, instead quietly following the order. He wasn't about to pass up a hot shower in Levi's bathroom.

Yawning, he moved for his fresh uniform and got dressed quickly. He was just in time for supper. He decided to head through the courtyard as a shortcut. That was one of his favorite things about Levi's room - it was right next to the courtyard and had a beautiful view. However, as he was walking, a smell wafted to his nose, and it most certainly wasn't as pleasant as cooked food. It was... metallic. He realized with alarm that it was a smell he recognized from the battlefield, and turned towards the smell. Someone was bleeding, and close. Probably copious amounts if he could smell it. How badly were they hurt?

He steered off the path, expecting to have to search diligently or not even find anything - but upon turning the corner of a hedge, the smell hit him full-force, and he covered his mouth in horror, feeling bile rise in his throat. Blood splattered the grass and hedge, as well as the beautiful roses nearby. Eren didn't even realize a human had this much blood, but upon seeing the corpse sitting in the middle of it all, with its sheer size it made sense. It was horrifying. Who had done this?!

Eren stumbled back from the body of Reiner, a scream raising in his throat. Once he started, he couldn't stop.

.-.-.-.-.

_Levi found me afterwards. He kept holding me and saying it was okay. It's not okay. Who would do this?!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoops


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you may not have noticed but I am writing short chapters. Sorry no death
> 
> and the ends of the chapters in italics are Eren's response to the situation, and the reason I chose to do that will slowly reveal itself
> 
> I have been listening to the most unfitting music lol

Reiner's heart beat wildly in his chest. He couldn't make any noise past the gag stuffed in his mouth, and if he did, the sadistic son of a bitch standing over him would punish him. He had no doubts about that. But then again, he wasn't entirely sure he was going to make it out of this alive.

"Did you know that I can cut off your dick and you'll bleed out in minutes?"

The bulky blond's eyes flew wide open. His fighting spirit returned, and he strained and struggled against his confines, but all that resulted in him doing was flopping about uselessly like a fish. His tormentor's lips curled up in a cruel smile.

"Does that scare you? Good. I'm going to make an example of you. Torn limb from limb, extremities mangled, and castrated. Someone will find you, eventually. And nobody will be able to trace it. But it will send a message."

The person approached, the blood on their knife dripping onto Reiner's thigh as their teeth were exposed in a wicked grin.

"Don't touch my things."

.-.-.-.-.

"Are you sure you can continue on with normal duties? I can give you leave for a while."

"Yeah, and how many others are allowed to play hooky?" Eren snarked. Upon seeing in the mirror how Levi's face hardened at his tone, he sighed and rubbed his eyes tiredly. The short captain's hands didn't leave Eren's hips, but they grew stiff, and Eren recognized the warning signs. They may be lovers, but they were still superior and subordinate. He couldn't just snap at him. "I'm sorry. I'm okay. We can't just stop everything because of this. We've got headquarters to run."

Levi hummed slightly, pressing a kiss to the boy's neck and stepping away. "You're right. Just let me know if anything is too much. Seeing something like that... it's a marvel you're as stable as you are."

"I don't think 'stable' is the right word..." Eren let out a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair and gripping at the locks. "I... fuck, Levi, you have to understand, right? Everything's going fine and happy one moment, and the next... I can't believe... who would do that?"

Levi seemed to ponder Eren's words carefully before speaking. "Someone he'd wronged, I imagine." Eren turned around quickly, staring at Levi in shock. "Whether he thought he'd done it or not, or if he even knew. Even if whatever he did wasn't wrong to anyone but his attacker."

"But... but what would he have done?" Eren whispered, looking horrified. "Reiner was a great guy. Everyone liked him. A bit inappropriate at times, but he was nice..."

Levi shrugged. "Let's not dwell on it. Come on. Breakfast."

Eren trailed along after Levi obediently like a dog with its tail between its legs. His eyes never left the floor as they made their way to the mess hall. The walk was made longer than usual since Levi absolutely refused to let Eren back in the courtyard after what he'd found. They didn't need him panicking again. The raven's arm was slung around Eren's waist, thumb rubbing gently along his side in a soothing motion. Eren leaned against him the whole walk, craving the comforting presence.

Reluctantly, he parted from Levi once they reached their destination and got food, the younger of the two heading for his usual table of friends. Nobody greeted him cheerily like usual, no sleepy hellos, no bright chatter about stupid everyday topics. Every one of his friends was silent and solemn. Eren sat down quietly, uncomfortable in the heavy silence, but he in no way wanted to leave. Armin and Mikasa immediately crowded him on the bench, Mikasa protectively, Armin seeking comfort. Eren slung an arm around his best friend and leaned into his sister's embrace.

"How are you holding up?" Mikasa asked quietly.

"I'm fine," Eren replied just as softly, though he wasn't entirely sure if that was true himself. He could still see the horrifying scene in his mind, the blood everywhere, the almost unrecognizable corpse, the excess of blood between his legs and the removed extremity forced in his mouth, eyes bulging and rolled back -

His best friends gave him doubtful looks, and he shook his head furiously to clear it.

"Are you sure?" Armin murmured, voice cracking slightly, revealing that he'd been crying. He'd always been sensitive. "I mean, you were the one who... you know. Saw it."

Eren gave a shuddering sigh. "I know. And I'm still coping, but I - I'll be okay."

Bertholdt sniffed quietly from across the table, and Krista and Sasha immediately reached for the tall boy's hands. Eren looked down at his plate guiltily, feeling his heart was breaking. Bertholdt and Reiner had been so close. The boy may have towered over everyone else and been a hulking presence, but in reality he was shy and nervous and relied on Reiner like a lifeline. Eren tried to imagine how he would react if he lost Mikasa, or even Armin, and immediately perished the thought, unable to handle it. He couldn't imagine how terribly Bertholdt was coping with the loss.

Eren chanced a glance around the room and realized that most of the soldiers were quiet, and any conversation was hushed. There were people who could manage more than sad silence, those who didn't know the fallen soldier, but overall the atmosphere was gloomy and solemn. Everyone mourned the loss of a companion, and some were overtaken with fear. There was still the mystery of who'd done it. The murderer was still among them, and for all they knew, plotting the next kill. Eren knew Levi and Erwin were managing mountains of paperwork, and they needed to root out the threat quickly.

Losing soldiers to the titans was enough. Why would anyone feel the need to add to the casualty list?

Suddenly there was clamoring from people nearest the entrance, and a ripple effect of soldiers standing and saluting brought to the group's attention that Commander Erwin Smith had arrived. Fists closed over hearts and backs straightened. The large blond dismissed their salutes and they were allowed to sit, but he still commanded attention, and every pair of eyes was glued to him.

"As you all know, this is a dire situation." His voice carried in the silence, loud and authoritative. "One of our own has been killed at the hands of another human being. This is absolutely not tolerated in our military." He was clearly beyond angry, the fury in his ice-blue eyes overwhelming to those closest to him. "So I beg of you all, please, if you have  _any_ information about who might have done this, any speculation, tell a superior. Tell a friend if you're scared, tell your team leader, even come to me directly. Slide a paper under my hand if you want to be anonymous. We need to catch the culprit before he or she makes another move.

People started looking around, immediately looking to see if anyone was coming forward, or maybe wondering if they should come forward themselves. Eren's heart ached when nobody rose from this seat, nobody spoke a word. Erwin's gaze scanned the room, and he bowed his head slightly.

"I see. To anyone that has information, I will be in my office if you need me. Squad leaders, if any soldier -I repeat,  _any soldier,_ whether they be a new recruit or a senior - comes up to you and tells you something, anything, I expect that information to be taken directly to me. I don't care about your personal reasons. I need to know every little detail we can get."

He turned around and exited the mess hall. There was a solid moment of silence, and then suddenly hushed conversations were springing up: speculation about the murderer, wonder about how they wold be apprehended, fear of being murdered for telling their suspicions, conspiring together to try and figure out the mystery. Eren huddled closer to his friends, worry consuming him. Nothing good could come of all this. The murderer knew. What if he just killed them all?

"So who do you think it is?" Ymir drawled.

Eren was horrified to see how many of his friends joined in on the conversation.

.-.-.-.-.

_I'm so scared. That can't have been the only murder the killer is going to commit. He's going to go after someone else. I just know it._

_I try to talk to Levi about it, but he avoids my questions. He seems to be thinking really hard._

_He promised he's protect me. I want to believe him, but how can he keep me safe when we don't even know who the culprit is?_


	4. Chapter 4

The recruits sat at their regular table, silent and alone in the room. They fidgeted nervously, none daring to speak as they awaited the return of Ymir, who had been called to the Commander's office during dinner and hadn't come back. That was hours ago. Krista looked ready to break down with worry for her girlfriend, head in her arms on the table. Half of them were falling asleep, Eren included. His head drooped against Mikasa's shoulder and while he wasn't asleep yet, his eyes had kept closed for a long time – he wasn't sure how long.

Three different squad leaders and several senior soldiers had come down and insisted they get sleep, that it could be a long while, but the recruits always refused and eventually the others let them be. They understood.

When the cafeteria door opened, nobody bothered looking up. Every single time it had been a regular soldier. They knew the odds of it actually being their friend were small by now. However, when Ymir herself plopped down next to Krista and pulled her close, everyone was suddenly snapping awake, straightening up and yawning. Krista instantly latched onto the freckle-faced brunet, and everyone waited with bated breath for her to speak.

"Whoever thought I did it has a stick up their ass, and if there isn't one I'd be glad to put one there for them."

Her tone was venomous but also reassuring; they knew things had gone well.

"What exactly happened?" Armin asked cautiously, wary that Ymir was ticked and could explode if something wrong was said. However, she seemed to be relaxing, and answered dismissively.

"Smith was pretty polite about it. Didn't seem to think I'd done it right off the bat, but he still wanted to interview me to be sure." Ymir's hands occupied themselves with Krista's hair, twisting a few strands between her fingers. It seemed to be calming to the tiny blonde. "Apparently someone mentioned Reiner's tendency to flirt with my goddess and all my half-assed death threats."

"But that was always harmless teasing," Jean pointed out.

"And that's what I told him. I also said he could ask anyone else. Reiner was too gay anyways. Everyone has a little crush on Krista." She sighed, resting her chin in her free hand. "We nitpicked, but he was a good guy. I don't think Smith really thought I did it."

"But who would turn you in?" Connie asked, looking bewildered. "Why would anyone think you'd do it?"

"Maybe they're just scared," Sasha said quietly, "and they're just looking for anyone that could be it."

"Or maybe they're the culprit and are trying to frame someone else," Bertholdt spoke up. Everyone gave him startled looks, but a look of understanding dawned on Armin's face, and he glanced at Ymir, the wheels in his head turning.

"Ymir, did Commander Smith tell you who accused you?"

The freckled girl suddenly understood as well. "He said it was an anonymous source... shit! Shit! He's right under our goddamn noses, isn't he?!"

"Ymir, calm down," Mikasa said sternly.

"Lower your voice," Armin agreed insistingly. "We don't know who could be listening."

The table went silent. The blond's words hung over them ominously as a harsh realization hit all of them.

Any one of them could be the killer.

.-.-.-.-.

"How are things going?"

Erwin sighed, pushing his fingers through his hair. "Horribly. The MPs are all over this."

"It's just like them," Levi snorted. He perched on the edge of the commander's desk, picking at his nails. "They'll have their dogs over here if we're not careful, sniffing for a trail. But they won't find anything. If we haven't, how will they?"

"You never know," Erwin responded. He glanced up at his subordinate. "You're awfully pessimistic about all this."

"You expect me to be hopeful about the situation? We have a killer on our hands, motive unknown. We have literally no leads. It's all guesswork."

"And if the MPs come, they'll accuse whoever they want and take them to trial," Erwin muttered. He rested his head in his hands. "That puts you and I in major danger. They'd give anything to get rid of us."

"And Eren," Levi spat, venom clear in his tone. "They'll insist it must be him. A titan shifter would be violent enough to do the job, right?"

Erwin was silent for a moment. "... you've spoken with him, correct?"

"Of course. You don't really think he did it, do you?" Levi sounded scandalized by the mere thought. Erwin held up a placating hand.

"Of course not. He was the first suspect, considering he found the body, but he isn't the prime suspect. I trust your judgement, Levi. However, the central government doesn't. We have to tread carefully."

Levi nodded. He paused, eyes roving over the paperwork scattered across the desk. "Have you got any other leads? Any tips?"

"A few, but fewer within reason. I have to investigate them all, though." Erwin exhaled, visually deflating. "I've had accusations for people who've never talked to Braun in their lives to fingers pointing at Hoover, his best friend. I do suppose I should talk to him at some point."

"Could be the person we least suspect," Levi hummed thoughtfully.

"Hell, I mean," Erwin laughed, "I suspect you more than him!"

.-.-.-.-.

"Are you sure you're alright?"

"Fine."

"We don't want you to lose focus and fall -"

"I'm okay."

"You can come to any of us if you need it!"

"Thank you. I will."

Bertholdt kept his awkward smile, nodding and confirming his understanding consistently until he was out of his teammates' sights. Eren watched him from where he was standing with Mikasa. Were people really letting him go alone? Eren found himself hurrying after his tall friend, ignoring a call from Mikasa to come back. He fell into step with Bertholdt, clearing his throat to announce his presence. The tall boy jumped slightly, then gave a smile that Eren could tell was forced.

"Hey, Eren. What is it?"

"Not much. Just wanna get away from Mikasa while I can. I figured you could use some company. You're cleaning the big stained-glass window out front, right? I'll help."

Bertholdt looked like he was ready to deny the help, but his expression flickered into something else for a fraction of a second, and he said, "Yeah, sure. Thanks."

They each carried a bucket of soapy water, which they brought to the roof on their 3DMG. They worked in an awkward silence, starting at opposite ends of the window, one of the buckets dangling between them on a rope. Half an hour later saw Bertholdt planting his feet against the window and stretching briefly.

"I'm going to go change the water."

"Okay, I'll wait."

Eren braced his feet against the window, stretching and allowing his upper body to dangle. His back popped and he let out a satisfied grunt. He hated having to focus on his balance so much for such a stupid task. He found himself tensing up to keep still, not like when he could move freely. He watched Bertholdt land at the top of the roof and pull the bucket up, starting to untie the knot so he could connect the cleaner bucket to dangle. Eren closed his eyes as he waited, letting boredom take hold.

It had always felt nice, the breeze on his face, birds twittering nearby in the trees, the flow of the stream several meters away reaching his ears. It was peaceful. What wasn't peaceful was when suddenly he found himself dropping a couple centimeters.

His eyes flew open in panic, and he instinctively went to check how his hooks held, but they were on top of the roof and he couldn't see them. It seemed Bertholdt had noticed the change in Eren's demeanor. He took one look at what was probably Eren's harpoons and his mouth opened to say something, face panicked, but there was a loud _snap!_ and suddenly Eren was falling.

It all happened in slow motion. Eren could see Bertholdt reaching for him, even though they both knew he was much too far to be of any help. He saw the break in the cords, the lack of harpoons in the end. What had happened to make them break? It was unheard of. Eren's throat felt raw, and he realized he was screaming. His eyes squeezed shut again. He was going to die. He was going to fall and break his neck at best... nobody would know what happened but Bertholdt... not Mikasa, not Armin, not Levi -

His body made impact with something. The ground wasn't this soft, Eren realized, and he was still moving.

"What the fuck just happened, Jaeger?!"

Eren had never been so relieved to hear the angry demand, and he simply clung to Levi's neck and started to cry, glad he was alive.

.-.-.-.-.

_I never realized just how human I am. I may be a monster, but I'm vulnerable in this form. It took a near-death experience to realize it._

_Levi yelled at me. A lot. I don't blame him. He always tells me I should check my cables before I use my gear. I paid the price._

_I'm just happy I'm alive. So is he. Bertholdt is beside himself. He keeps apologizing. I ask him why but he doesn't respond with anything that makes sense._

_Levi seems really upset. Maybe it's just because of what happened, but I don't think so. He's pacing a lot and thinking hard._

_I wish he would confide in me._


	5. Chapter 5

"Soldier Eren Jaeger's 3DMG did not fail him. The cables did not simply snap."

Heads snapped up as Erwin's words broke through the blanket of silence. Eren stared at the blond commander from where he sat with Levi(the captain hadn't let him leave his side since the previous day's incident), eyes wide. What did he mean? It had been an accident. He hadn't taken the proper precautions and paid the price. There wasn't anything more to it.

"The cables were tampered with."

Eren's thoughts froze, and Levi's hand tightened around his own. There was only one thing his mind centered around now, only a single word his thoughts could form in his disbelief.

_What?!_

"Observe." Erwin held up the harpoon that he had taken from the scene of the accident, which had been still clamped onto the wall. "The ends are frayed. If it had snapped, it would have been different. It would have unwound rather than frayed, or been a completely clean separation. There is also the matter of where the break was. Notice how only a few centimeters of wire remain. Jaeger's hooks were half a meter from the edge, on the roof. If the wire had been weakened, it would make much more sense for it to be where it rubbed against the building."

Eren's heart pounded in his ears. Was Erwin saying what he thought he was saying?

"This was not an accident. Someone either snipped his cables or weakened them beforehand. I believe it was the murderer." Whispers arose, but Erwin continued to speak, demanding attention. "We do not have enough evidence of the killer, however, so anyone with any idea should step forward."

At that, he turned and left the mess hall, leaving it a jumbled mess of terrified and intrigued soldiers and conversation.

.-.-.-.-.

"Interviewing Hoover got us zero results."

Levi's eyes snapped up to Erwin, silver orbs blazing with some unnamed emotion. "Are you sure Hanji's good for the job? We all trust her, but she tends to be rather obvious."

"Not when she's serious," Erwin said. He looked Levi over, the tension in his shoulders, the way his brow was more furrowed than usual, the dark look in his eyes. "You're brooding. You still think Hoover did it, didn't you?"

"He was the only person there," Levi pointed out darkly. "And it happened as he was up by the cables. All evidence points to him."

"Your squad was training around there as well, no?" Erwin pointed out. "It was why you were able to save Jaeger."

Levi's posture changed. He curled his fists, hunching his shoulders like a savage animal about to attack. "Are you accusing my squad?!" he snarled.

"There is evidence," Erwin said coolly. He held up a placating hand as Levi bristled further, looking furious. "But no. I am proving a point. I understand you're upset, as the boy is definitely important to you, but you've set your sights on one person and honed in. You need to take a step back, breathe, and look at it from all angles."

Levi crossed his arms, leaning against the window frame and glaring at his superior from across the room. "What other views are there?" he ground out.

"Someone could have gotten to his cables beforehand. They could have made it look like an accident." Erwin sighed wearily. "Look, Levi, that Hoover kid is just too shaken to be the culprit. He was terrified when we called him in for questioning."

"It's very possible he's a good actor," Levi said darkly. He cracked a humorless smirk. "If I was the killer, do you think you'd have the slightest clue if I didn't want you to know?"

"You? Never," Erwin managed a chuckle. "You're a borderline sadist, but you know better than murder."

"It's nice to know you trust me," Levi muttered, smile fading as he glanced out the window. The building cleaning was being continued, and he could see his brat out there, laughing about something with the bald kid. "Nobody's watching them?" he grumbled irately. "I'm going to go check on them. Don't overwork yourself, old man."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Don't show Jaeger any favoritism."

Levi snorted. "When have I  _ever_ shown favoritism?"

.-.-.-.-.

Bertholdt clutched the dagger tightly in his hands.

_This is it. I won't mess up this time. Squad Levi isn't around to save him._

Hearing Eren, Armin, and Connie's laughter made him falter. He imagined how those would turn to screams of terror, how broken their friends would be losing another of their companions. Rapidly he shook his head, clearing his muddled thoughts.

_He killed Reiner. He's the only one that could have. I... I have to get revenge!_

"You're really going to go through with it again?"

The voice made his blood run cold. Bertholdt whirled around, holding his dagger up defensively. He trembled at the sight of who he opposed now.

"I-I was just -"

"Did you know," came the drawling baritone as the person came ever closer, "I was there when you did it the first time? I watched you do it."

The jig was up. So someone  _had_  seen him. Bertholdt gripped the knife tighter. "Stay back, I'm warning you!" he hissed, eyes wide in fear. "I could kill all of them right now!"

"You couldn't and wouldn't," his visitor said in a cold, short voice. 

"Eren will pay for killing Reiner!"

"It's a bit difficult to achieve vengeance when you're already dead, don't you think?"

Bertholdt was dead before he realized he'd even fallen, neck broken at an awkward angle and eyes glazed over.

The killer backed away from the edge of the building before anyone looked up. He wiped his hands off and picked up the dagger the teen had left behind, hurling it in the direction of the forest. As far as anyone would know, their good friend Bertl had committed suicide after losing his best friend. The murderer didn't care.

So long as Eren was safe, he was content.

.-.-.-.-.

_I... I can't believe it... We all though Bertholdt was so happy..._

_This is crazy. People are suggesting it wasn't suicide. But we didn't see anyone on the roof. He jumped._

_He jumped..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .-.-.-.-.
> 
> you were all like "NO DON'T KILL BERTL IT WAS AN ACCIDENT D:!" ahaahahahah


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now for the not so big reveal to one character

"I can't believe he would commit suicide."

Eren found himself saying and hearing these words more than he wanted to. It pained him how casually the rest of the Corps were taking it. One of their own had up and ended his own life, and everyone was talking about it in such a nonchalant manner. The only ones affected by Bertholdt's death were his friends from the 104th, who were absolutely miserable. They'd lost two of the top three, and some great friends in the process. Krista, Sasha, and Armin had been taking it the worst, being the most sensitive of the remaining friends, but none of them were coping well.

What intrigued Eren - in sort of a morbid way - was how Levi was taking it all.

"There's no way that kid committed suicide," he said flatly in response to Eren's hushed whisper, not looking up from his paperwork.

"Why d'you say that?" Eren sounded almost defensive, and Levi knew he had the brat's attention.

"He wouldn't have."

"He lost his best friend!"

"He was too cowardly. He loved life too much."

Eren started to bristle, but the words slowly sunk in. The mention of Bertholdt being a coward irritated Eren's nerves, but Levi was right. Bertholdt wouldn't have been able to bring himself to jump. A chill ran down the brunet's spine, and he stared at Levi with wide eyes.

"Do you think the murderer got him?" he whispered.

"I know the murderer got him," Levi said matter-of-factly, closing his eyes and setting his pen aside. He rubbed his face vigorously and Eren felt a pang of pity; Levi worked nonstop and was probably exhausted. But when Levi's hands moved to reveal his face, Eren was shocked to see the smile that stretched his lips.

_He never smiles like that._

"Levi?"

The captain's eyes settled on his charge. Eren swallowed nervously when his lover beckoned him to come closer but obeyed. Familiar hands settled on his hips and pulled him into the man's lap. Levi trailed soft kisses along his jaw, earning a contented sigh.  _Surely I'm overreacting. Nothing's wrong with him. I should be happy he's happy, for whatever reason._

"You know I love you, right, Eren?" Levi purred against the boy's neck, causing a shiver to run down his spine.

"Mhm," Eren hummed, hooking his arms around Levi's neck. He couldn't manage much else at the moment, closing his eyes and sighing in bliss. He could feel the built up tension from the past few days fading away with Levi's touch. He'd needed this.

"And you know I would do anything for you."

"I know."

"And nobody can keep you from me."

"Possessive today, aren't you?" Eren laughed, but then Levi's arms were tightening around his waist, his face pressed against Eren's neck.

"I don't like people touching what's mine," he said darkly. "Or trying to kill them, for that matter."

"What -" Eren blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of his words and sudden change in demeanor. "What do you mean?"

"Bertholdt Hoover was not your friend in his last days. He was not an innocent victim." Levi cradled the brunet's face, noting the shocked expression. "He was a killer at heart, and he tried to make you his victim."

Suddenly the smile was back, cruel and wicked this time.

"So I made him mine."

Eren's jaw dropped. His first instinct was to scramble away, but he couldn't move. He wanted to punch Levi in the shoulder and tell him to quit joking around, that it wasn't funny, but the raven's smile wasn't one of mirth. Eren could feel a sting in his eyes as the words sunk in.

"You killed him?"

His lover was a murderer. A heartless killer that he was alone with. Oh, hell, what if he made a move on Eren?

"I killed him to save you."

Eren's eyes went wide, and he wasn't sure which feeling was dominant: fear or shock. "But - but why?! Why would you do it?! What did he do wrong?!"

"He tried to kill you," Levi responded calmly, his smile decreasing to one more calm and collected, though still unnerving. "He snipped your cables and tried to have you fall to your death. I saw it happen. It was either confront him or save your life. I decided I could make him pay for it later."

"Why didn't you just tell the Commander immediately?!" Eren demanded, voice raising in pitch. He recognized the signs of hysteria and knew he needed to calm down, but it was all too much.

"Things could have gotten unbelievably nasty if it got out he was directly caught. We needed to catch him by surprise. But he managed to fool Hanji, so I took things into my own hands." He shrugged as though it was nothing. "It's easier to file paperwork for a suicide than a murderer, anyways," he finished casually.

The gears in Eren's head turned furiously, whirring and spinning and trying to make sense of Levi's words. "But... but why would Bert try to kill me?"

"He thought you killed Reiner, obviously."

Eren gasped, wounded by the idea. "But I didn't! I never could have...!"

"I know, because I'm the one that killed him."

Eren's heart stopped.  _Two_ deaths on his lover's hands?!

"Why?!"

"He touched what was mine," Levi stated calmly.

"We were joking around, Levi! This isn't okay!"

"Joking around? You must not see the way he looks at you, then. Haven't you noticed you're the only one he harassed like that?"

Eren stopped short, his anger and indignation fading and being replaced with realization. Levi was right. Reiner's advances seemed joking, but it always seemed like there was something behind him, and the brunet had been the only one on the receiving end. No one else got that treatment, not even Krista. It was difficult to fully understand, but in a way, Levi's reasoning fit, even if it was morally wrong.

That's right... morally wrong. Very wrong!

"I should turn you in," Eren mumbled half-heartedly.

It was true, but he could never bring himself to do it, and Levi seemed to know it.

"For what?" the raven asked, quirking an eyebrow. "I've merely been protecting you. I've kept you safe. You wouldn't tell anyone."

 _You're right,_ Eren agreed silently. But something in him didn't want Levi to win. "What if I do?" he challenged.

"Why..." Levi pressed his lips to Eren's ear, hot breath ghosting over his skin and making him shiver. "I'll kill whoever you tell."

Eren's breath hitched in his throat. He felt cold suddenly, torn between the want to understand and the urge to run. "What about me?" he asked, voice trembling.

Levi pressed a surprisingly tender kiss to Eren's forehead, eyes sincere when he next spoke. "I won't ever lift a finger to harm you. I'll end my life before I end yours. I would move heaven and earth for you, Eren."

 _And kill everyone living there,_ Eren added silently. But he still found himself pressing against his lover, seeking comfort. His heart still urged him to find solace in Levi, no matter what his common sense tried to tell him. And like the idiot he was, he followed his heart.

.-.-.-.-.

_I don't know what to do._

_I can't believe he killed them._ _And what about Erwin? He's betraying the commander's trust!_

_He's crazy, a madman. But I still love him._

_What do I do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> was gonna make it longer but eh


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the wait! Ever since Halloween I've been so busy, and then sick-
> 
> I actually researched the difference between psychopath and sociopath and decided Levi was closer to a psychopath, though he does obsess over Eren. He only has feelings for Eren though. Towards everyone else, he is solely indifferent, or hates them.

The knowledge that Levi had killed two of his friends ate away at Eren for the next couple of days. Friends... were they really? The way Levi had put it made so much sense in its own sick, twisted way. Eren couldn't help but think he must be twisted too because he thought it made some sort of sense, and he kept finding solace in Levi's touches and presence. While definitely unstable and probably insane, the captain still seemed to understand that the killing still hurt his lover and gave him plenty affection to try and make up for it. Not that anything should make Eren feel better about his boyfriend killing his friends, but nonetheless, it helped for some twisted reason.

But still, the facts didn't change - Levi had blood on his hands and didn't regret a single second of it. If anything, he seemed to have enjoyed it. But rather than be intimidated, Eren found himself seeing Levi in a pitiful light. His intentions were good, though the path to Hell was paved with good intentions; he truly thought he was helping his and Eren's relationship by getting rid of the threats to Eren. The brunet didn't know whether or not Levi understood the extent of the evil he was doing. It seemed as though he didn't fully comprehend how precious a life was if he was able to end one so easily, let alone two.

He had a psychopath for a boyfriend. But he couldn't do anything. Levi had made himself very clear: even if Eren wanted to tell someone, Levi wouldn't let him. Unless Eren wanted blood on his hands, he couldn't tell a soul. He knew that with Levi's background, he was desensitized to killing, and was more than capable of killing even his best friends and the toughest people in the Corps.

Because Levi didn't have friends, Eren realized. The only one he cared for was the titan shifter. He didn't care for Erwin, Hanji, Mike, not even his squad. That was why he'd been so indifferent about their deaths. The only people he'd loved before Eren were his old friends Farlan and Isabel. Their deaths had to have affected his mental state. Made him snap, even if he didn't realize it. He might not have even noticed until recently. Now that he had another person to love and protect, his abused metaphorical heart that had taken too much strain refused to let go this time. He couldn't handle losing someone else.

It all clicked in Eren's brain, made so much sense so suddenly that he stopped walking and Jean promptly ran into him.

"Yo, what the hell, bastard?! What's the holdup?!"

Eren quickly shook his head, clearing his thoughts and paving the way for anger at his fellow soldier. He turned around, arms keeping a secure hold around the boxes that held his blade refills. "Don't neigh so loudly, Horseface," he shot back. "Calm your shit."

"You're holding everyone up," Jean scowled.

"What the fuck crawled up your ass and died? I was checking my blades, jeez!"

"Checking them for what, Jaeger? It can wait!"

Eren whirled around, glaring at Jean indignantly. The other teen looked livid, and Eren just couldn't understand why. "Alright, seriously, man. Why are you so pissy today?"

"I'unno, maybe because two of our good friends died, and Captain Levi's been pushing us like a fucking slave driver!" Jean shouted. Eren was about to retort that it wasn't his fault when the horsefaced boy continued, "Even you! Or are you just too dumb to notice anything that's going on around you?!"

"I -"

Eren cut himself off, looking around them. Curious faces watched the scene with wide eyes, soldiers circling them and waiting for the inevitable brawl. He hadn't even noticed, but he remembered how much longer they'd been outside than normal. Usually when it rained Levi would usher them inside after an hour, giving them enough time to learn and absorb how to train in harsh weather, but not long enough for something bad to happen. But today they'd been out there for several hours, and Levi's harsh, biting comments rang in everyone's ears. Eren had just been too deep in thought to notice.

"We're all upset!" Eren's glare deepened. "But you're the only one acting like this!"

"Oh, I'm sorry I can't just be all perfectly unfazed and happy!" Jean retorted. He pointed an accusing finger at Eren, jabbing it into his chest harshly. "You're too busy living in a happy little world of your own where everything is just hunky-dory! What do you care that your friends died?! Can you even call them your friends?!"

Eren's jaw dropped. He grabbed Jean's wrist and pushed it away, carelessly dropping his blade refills in favor of getting up in the other boy's face. "How  _dare_ you! You don't have the right to say anything! Do you really think I'm okay with all this?!" His voice was escalating with his temper. "You didn't find Reiner! Didn't see his body!" He was screaming now, shaking Jean violently by the shoulders. "You weren't there when Bertholdt died!"

Jean grabbed his forearms, effectively halting all movement as he spat venomously, "You're right, I wasn't. No one was. No one but you, right?"

A few gasps issued from the crowd. Eren's eyes went wide. "You think  _I_ did it?!" he shouted indignantly, eyes widening. He immediately felt angry tears pricking at his eyes. How could Jean accuse him of such a thing when he'd been so very upset over it?!

"All evidence points to you!" Jean bared his teeth in a snarl. "Everyone else might think you're some poor victim, but -"

He was cut off when Eren decked him, and blood spurted from his nose. He was startled at first, but he quickly rebounded, tackling Eren to the floor. They rolled around on the floor, each constantly trying to overtake the other over the barrage of fists. Jean managed to pin Eren, mercilessly pounding into the brunet's face and making pain blossom under his skin. Eren threw his hands up defensively, trying to push Jean off, but the boy was bigger and heavier, and all of Eren's effort was going into protecting his face.

Suddenly the attack stopped and he was being pulled to his feet by the collar of his uniform.

"Oi, hold him back, would you?! You alright there, Jaeger?"

Eren's vision was hazy when he blinked his eyes open. His entire face ached. He squinted at Jean, who was being held back by squad leader Dita Ness as he struggled to lunge at Eren again. Mike's scruffy face came into view, looking concerned.

"Can you hear me, Jaeger?"

"Hn...? Yeah." Eren nodded vaguely. His adrenaline rush was fading away, and he found out that his cheeks were wet. Was he crying? It wasn't sticky like blood -

"Jaeger, Kirschstein, asses front and center right this fucking second!"

Mike and Dita kept a close eye on the duo as they scrambled to stand in front of Captain Levi. They both threw up salutes, though Eren winced with pain when he did. Levi looked furious, eyes burning with a rage Eren had never seen before, and he tried and failed not to shiver when that gaze fixed on him.

"What the  _fuck_ happened here?!" he snarled, arms crossed.

"I think Jaeger -"

"Jean just attacked -"

"Rhetorical question, you fucking idiots!" Levi practically roared, effectively shutting them up. Levi was far beyond any level of anger anybody in the Survey Corps had ever seen him. " _Never_ in my years here have I ever thought something like this would ever,  _could_ ever spring up among my men! There is a difference between a simple fist fight over an argument and trying to fucking  _kill each other!_ We  _do not_ attack our comrades! Am I fucking clear?!"

"Yes, sir!" Eren and Jean both burst out with. Eren's heart raced. He'd never been at the receiving end of Levi's fury, and this was beyond anything he'd ever even heard of.

Levi looked between them for a moment before focusing on Eren's face, which was quickly bruising. "It seems you did damage to Jaeger's face," he mused, quieter now, which only terrified the two more, because he hadn't calmed down, they knew. "An eye for an eye, hmm? So, for beating him down when he didn't have a chance to fight back, I'm giving him the opportunity to hit you back. One good punch. Sounds fair, doesn't it? Especially since you accused him of murder."

Mike and Dita both nodded. "It's what Shadis would have done," Dita said solemnly.

"And you're not going to object, are you, Kirschstein?"

Jean obviously objected, but he couldn't manage anything verbal. He lowered his head, gritting his teeth. "No, sir."

"And why not?"

"Because I deserve it, sir," Jean ground out.

Levi nodded once, then gestured to Eren. "Make it count, Jaeger."

Eren dropped his salute, hands going by his side. Jean's eyes were locked on his, defiantly waiting for his punishment as the people surrounding them held their breath. For a moment, anger burned in Eren and he wanted to do it. Wanted to get revenge.

_What am I thinking?_

When had he become this angry? Just a minute or so before, he was fearing for his life, thinking Jean wasn't going to stop punching him until he stopped moving. Then he was relieved, because Mike had come to his rescue, then scared when Levi had come in. Eren's rage deflated just like that. He didn't want revenge on Jean. Jean was scared and not thinking straight. Eren beating him while he wasn't allowed to fight back wasn't going to help the taller boy's suspicions. They shouldn't be fighting.

"I... I don't want to, sir."

"Excuse me?"

Eren flinched at the words, though was relieved that the tone wasn't angry. Levi sounded slightly intrigued. Eren clenched his hands into fists. "Hitting him when he can't fight back won't fix anything. I'm not going to do it." He paused and threw in quickly, "Sir."

There was a pause, and Jean looked shocked. Finally Levi said, "Very well." Before either boy could do or say anything, their heads collided painfully as Levi slapped them together none too gently. "You're both fucking idiots. I expect you both in my office tomorrow morning so I can assign you punishments, are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," they both mumbled.

"Good. Dita, go get him cleaned up. Jaeger, you're coming with me to Hanji."

Before Eren could say anything the corporal was tugging on his ear, pulling him along. The brunet cried out slightly, forced to follow the short raven's quick pace to avoid his ear being pulled any harder. They rounded a corner with Eren stumbling, an undignified squawk leaving his lips.

"C-Captain, could you let go?"

Levi consented, releasing the tender appendage. Eren started to straighten up, rubbing his red ear and opening his mouth to complain, but suddenly Levi was rounding on him and pushing him against the nearest wall. A squeak tumbled from Eren's mouth, his voice quickly silencing at the sight of Levi's narrowed eyes. He looked absolutely furious, eyes narrowed and mouth set in a deep frown. Eren was scared to breathe or blink.

And then Levi's mouth was on his, and Eren struggled to keep up with the sudden intensity of the hungry kiss. Before Eren could fully immerse himself in the act, Levi grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled the brunet's head back, exposing his throat and earning a grunt. He trailed harsh bites down the sensitive skin, Eren whining softly at the rough treatment.

"I am so fucking pissed at you," Levi growled into the crook of Eren's neck, leaving a harsh bite there before jerking Eren's head back to where he could look at him. "Do you have any idea how worried I was when I heard that commotion? Huh?! I have been tasked with making sure your stupid ass doesn't get into any trouble! Do you have any clue what this will look like to the MPs?!"

It was all a cover that Eren could see right through. Maybe a few weeks ago it would have been difficult, but now Levi was transparent to him. He grinned cheekily. "Aww. Corporal was scared for me."

Levi cuffed him over the head and released him, starting down the hallway. "Shut the hell up, brat. To Hanji's."

"Yes, sir."

.-.-.-.-.

_Jean hasn't spoken to me. Our friends have tried to talk to me, but I haven't told them anything, really. I don't really know anything about the situation myself._

_What exactly happened there? Why did he get so hostile? Why was I so violent afterwards? I usually calm down fairly well._

_Levi's getting more and more overprotective. I should be scared of him, but I can't be. He's just so sweet to me. I don't get it. How can he be so aggressive and scary one second, psychopathic another, and so super nice and caring the next?_

_I know this is wrong. I should turn him in. I keep telling myself it's because he's skilled enough to kill everyone I tell with no evidence it was him, which is true, but I know the truth. I can't keep fooling myself. I'm in too deep. Maybe I'm crazy too._

_Because I'm so in love with him that these deaths are starting to seem trivial._


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for such a late update imsorryimsorryimsorry
> 
> go blame Hotaru the Firefly because I've been paying more attention to our fic we're writing together than this XD I'm having a lot of fun working with her and she's a great author (honestly I was a bit worried b/c nobody has ever asked me to collab and I was like 'oh god what if she's bad' but she's actually really cool and great at writing)
> 
> The fic is called "Restraints", it's an ereri/riren fic (we haven't decided who tops yet lol) and it's an asylum!AU. The first chapter is up on her profile on FFN. We would very much appreciate if you checked it out!

A bloodcurdling screech woke the west wing of the castle.

Eren blinked awake sleepily as Levi shot up beside him, producing a dagger from somewhere Eren was too tired to figure out. The brunet struggled to sit up, and Levi snapped his fingers impatiently.

"Hurry up, brat. Something's wrong."

A few moments later had Eren hurrying after Levi, surprised and awed by how silently the corporal could move. If you weren't looking right at him, you wouldn't know he was there.  _Must be something from his underground days._  They made their way towards where they'd heard the scream, Eren noting how eerily silent it was around them. Hadn't anyone else heard it?

Soft sobbing reached their ears. Eren halted immediately, taken aback, but Levi took it in stride, poking his head around the corner. Immediately Eren saw a disgusted grimace cross his features, and the raven turned to his charge. He rubbed at his face wearily, sighing deeply. "You're not going to like what you see, but I need you to comfort her while I go get someone to help clean up this mess."

"Who is it? What happened?"

Levi merely gestured for him to take a look. Eren gave him a weary glance before rounding the corner.

It took him a moment to register what he was seeing. Blood, a lot of it - precious life substance dripping from the victim's lips and nose. Bruising covered their entire body from head to toe. The face was barely recognizable, disfigured to the point they didn't even look human anymore. There was a sickening dent in their head where they were hit so hard with a blunt object their skull caved in. Both the soldier's legs were broken, and from what Eren could see from where their shirt rode up, he'd been kicked in the stomach repeatedly.

A wave of nausea hit him as he realized who it was, and he fought back the urge to vomit. Hands on his waist grounded him, and Eren clutched at his lover's arms. He could feel bile rising in his throat and did his best to push him down. A gentle kiss was pressed to his neck to distract him, then Levi was tilting Eren's head away to look at the girl pressing herself against the wall.

It was Krista.

Her quick, short breaths suggested hyperventilation, and had curled herself up in a fetal position. Wide blue eyes stared unblinkingly from a curtain of blonde hair, face stained with an unrelenting flow of tears. She hadn't even noticed the two arrive. It was as though she was trying to fuse with the wall.

"Krista!"

Eren immediately darted to her side, shielding her view from the body on the floor. It was hard for him even, knowing those lifeless eyes - or eye, as one was absolutely destroyed - were staring straight at them. Still, he did his best to ignore the fact, focusing on the hyperventilating girl before him. He shook her shoulders gently, trying to snap her out of her stupor.

"Krista, come on. It's me, Eren."

A flash of recognition, then Krista was throwing herself at him, sobbing loudly as she curled up against his chest. Her fingers twisted in his shirt as he wrapped his arms around her. He rocked them gently back and forth, staring helplessly at the wall as tears burned in his eyes. He didn't know what else to do. Krista's crying showed no signs of stopping, and why should it? Yet another of their friends was dead on the floor behind them, barely even identifiable.

"Jean - why w-would anyone -"

"Shh, don't think about it. Think about something happy. Think about... Ymir. She makes you happy, right?"

"Y-Ymir -" That only set her off more, and Eren inwardly groaned. "I want Ymir." It was the most coherent thing she'd said. "I want Ymir... Ymir, Ymir, Ymir...!"

She was like a child crying for their mother, refusing anyone else's comfort, pining for the warmth of a loved one's embrace. Eren stared around helplessly. Levi had disappeared, presumably to find someone else to help. They were all alone here. Eren didn't know how to comfort someone! He was always the one  _being_ comforted! How was he supposed to make her feel better when he was trying to hold himself together? Krista's wails were the only sound in the hallway and the way they echoed was setting him on edge. He hoped they weren't alone long -

His prayers were answered as a screech met their ears, almost inhuman and indefinitely terrifying.

_"Krista!"_

And then the girl was being snatched from his arms and swept up into a strong embrace. Krista wrapped her limbs around Ymir, clinging on for dear life as the brunette buried her head in her girlfriend's shoulder. Ymir took a deep breath and let it out, her strong arms tightening around the tiny blonde, before she took in the scene before her.

"Who the fuck would do this?" she demanded, eyes turning on the other brunet. Eren immediately recoiled.

He knew what she was thinking.

"Jaeger and I were asleep when we heard the scream," Levi pointed out. It was scary how quickly he snapped into his soldier role. "He was with me all night. There was no way he could have done it." Well, that was one way of telling people they were fucking half the night - but it wasn't important. More soldiers were piling in, several wincing at the sight of Jean Kirschstein's broken and bruised body. "Dita, report to Commander Erwin. Hanji!" When had she shown up? She looked so somber too... "Help me clean this up. Everyone, resume your morning rituals as well as you can."

There was no way they could resume as usual.

Eren mistakenly glanced at the lifeless body on the floor. Immediately bile rose in his throat. Who had done this? Ymir accused him of it, but he at least knew of his own innocence. He understood why she would accuse him, however, especially with the one-sided fight from the day before. Anyone would be resentful after having their face pounded in. It was natural for Ymir to suspect he wanted revenge, so he couldn't resent her for it. But who would else would have committed the crime...?

Suddenly Eren's eyes widened.  _Oh no._

"C-Corporal?" he called out hesitantly.

His voice shook at the shock of the realization, and he hoped desperately that he was wrong. The titan shifter watched his captain hesitate, both knowing that he shouldn't show Eren favoritism, but the tremor in the boy's tone had his instincts raging and demanding he comfort him. Sighing, he muttered a quick apology to his fellow squad leader and motioned for Eren to follow him. The moment they were out of sight and earshot Levi drew him into his arms, the boy naturally melting into the embrace.

"Eren, I know what you're going through, but I have things to take care of." Levi gave a resigned sigh, running his fingers through the brunet locks. "So if you can handle at least going through the motions -"

"You did it, didn't you?"

Levi quirked an eyebrow at being interrupted. But now there was a dark glint in his eyes. He almost looked amused. "I did."

"Why?"

Levi definitely didn't like the way Eren's lip quivered as he asked the simple question. Any show of sadness gave Levi the urge to make someone pay for it.

"He hurt what I hold closest to my cold, dead heart. You didn't protect yourself nor did you get him back, so I took the initiative."

Eren clenched his hands into fists, trying to control the urge to raise his voice. "And if I had punched him when you gave me the chance?" he challenged. "Would you have let him live?"

Levi seemed to think for a moment, but Eren knew in an instant it was all a game to him. His lips spread in a wicked grin as he replied, "Not likely."

The younger male exhaled sharply, feeling the fresh sting of tears. "So there's nothing I could have done to stop you?"

"You could avoid such conflicts altogether," the raven suggested.

Eren knew Levi didn't understand his lover's inner turmoil, didn't realize the torture he was being put through. Or maybe he did. Maybe it was a test to see who Eren cared more about. Perhaps he was just allowing Eren to create more victims for him because he enjoyed the killing. No, there was no doubt he enjoyed the killing. He was so complacent about the deaths he caused, so clearly pleased with himself whenever Eren acknowledged what he had done. He didn't seem to care that his lover looked down on it, so long as he knew what he was doing, supposedly for his well-being.

"You're a monster."

Levi's eyes narrowed and his smile instantly vanished. Eren instinctively flinched when a hand approached his face, eyes squeezing shut and heart pounding painfully in his chest. That had been a mistake. He shouldn't have said that, even if it was true.

Eren waited for the pain to come, only for the corporal to grasp his chin gently.

"Eren."

Soft lips claimed his own. Before Eren could react, they pulled away. The brunet cracked a reluctant eye open as Levi spoke again.

"You're not wrong. I am a monster, shaped by cruelty and hardships into the madman I've become."

So he knew, Eren thought bitterly, but a pang of pity hit him as well. Levi knew there was something wrong with him, somewhere in that twisted mind of his.

"But you don't have to worry. Because I'll never,  _ever_ lay a hurtful hand on you."

His heart twisted painfully and he didn't even know why. Why did Levi's sincere words affect him so?

"I'm going to create a beautiful world for the two of us. A world of our own, where no one will bother us. I know what I do upsets you, but the only thing that matters is us. No one will stop me from achieving that utopia with you."

Levi's eyes were shining with something Eren had never seen before. He looked...  _hopeful._ Like he was dead-set on this dream. He truly desired a life with his lover, a peaceful, solitary existence. Levi was a murder, a psychopath, but he wasn't a liar - at least, not when talking to the only person he cared about.

And while Eren didn't approve of his methods, somewhere within him, he yearned for the same thing.

.-.-.-.-.

_Why do I still love him?! He's killed my friends! He's a murderer! He's violent and possessive and..._ _and insane... but..._

_Damn it... I can't stop loving him. When we're alone and he's whispering sweet nothings to me, I can't help but wish to spend every waking moment with him._

_And... and I understand. I don't approve. I hate him for what he's doing. But I understand why. And I want to tell someone, but I know now why I can't bring myself to._

_Because he's absolutely mad._

_And I still love him._


	9. Chapter 9

"Was it fun, beating him up like that?"

The pitiful whimpers and cries only fueled his rage. He kicked harder, curling his lips into a disgusted grimace. This stupid kid, this fucking brat, had the nerve to act as if he didn't deserve the beating he received.

"Was it fun seeing him at your mercy? Feeling his blood on your knuckles? Knowing that he was defenseless against your fury?!"

"P-Please!" Jean cried out. He truly was a pitiful sight - face bruised and bloody, arms bent at awkward angles, snot, tears, and blood mingling and running down his face in a disgusting mess. "Please s-sir - I w-won't tell a-anyone -  _gahh!"_

He let out a pained shout when a foot connected with his face. The raven-haired captain yanked him upright by the hair, nails digging ruthlessly into his scalp.

"I understand you, in a sense," he growled. He didn't sound very understanding. "I know what it's like to be someone's god, to have them completely at my mercy in their last moments. But you chose the wrong fucking victim, Jean." Last names were no longer a thing. Levi didn't care for the chain of command. He didn't care if this was a crime. This was personal.

"Please -"

"'Please' doesn't fix anything, you  _fucking idiot!"_ Levi threw him against the wall, watching in satisfaction at the telltale noise of his fractured ribs being further damaged. "Nobody -" He snarled each word, kicking the two-toned kid each time. "- touches - my - fucking - Eren!"

He finished with a final stomp to the face, and finally the aggravating noise that was Jean Kirschstein's pitiful sobbing went quiet. Levi glanced down at his boots, filthy with the boy's blood, and clicked his tongue irritably. He carefully slid out of his boots and stepped away from the slowly growing puddle of blood. He knew he couldn't leave his footsteps. He quickly snatched his shoes and hurried back down the hall towards his room, careful to make sure they didn't drip blood on the floor.

Thankfully his favorite brat was still sleeping soundly, breathing quiet and even. Levi tiptoed to the bathroom, running water in the sink and siphoning the blood off his shoes. He set them in their usual place as if he'd never left, then settled back down with his lover, who continued to sleep like a rock. Levi wrapped his arms possessively around the boy, and Eren responded by snuggling deep into the embrace with a little mewl that immediately had Levi's remaining anger simmering down to a low hum.

He pressed a kiss to the top of his brat's head, falling asleep with the contentment that came with another threat being taken care of.

.-.-.-.-.

Things were quiet for a while, both in terms of people and the murders. Hopeful whispers spoke of the murders having ended, claiming perhaps Jean himself was the murderer and that was why they had stopped. That assumption made Eren feel sick. The other popular conclusion was that the murderer was biding his time, making them feel safe before he or she struck again. Another suspicion was that there were multiple murderers. Eren knew both were wrong. The murders weighed heavily on his shoulders. In one way or another, they were his fault.

His friends still stuck close to him for the most part. Some had been suspicious at first, but after witnessing Eren break down at breakfast one warning, they were pretty well convinced he hadn't done anything. But that only led them to question, who  _had?_ It was difficult, not telling them anything. Eren wanted to so badly. Yet above his desire to bring the culprit to justice was the desperate hope that he wouldn't give Levi any reason to want to kill any of them.

Not only that, but was conflicted when it came to telling the truth about Levi. Did he want the murders to stop? Yes, absolutely, with all his heart. Did he want the murderer to pay for what he'd done? Yes, he did. But did he really want that if it was  _Levi?_ He didn't know. He didn't want his lover taken from him. There wasn't a single doubt in his mind that Levi would executed for his crimes, either shot or publicly hanged. Perhaps the rest of the corps would lynch him before the central government could even get their hands on him.

The thought made his heart clench painfully.

"Are you listening, brat?"

Speak of the devil -

"... I'm sorry, sir. Could you please repeat that?"

Levi narrowed his eyes slightly in concern, his irritation fading at how subdued Eren was. Usually he would be flustered if caught daydreaming.

"It's time for you to head up to Hanji's office," he said slowly, "remember? She apparently has a special experiment to run." He scowled slightly at his words, obviously very irate at the fact that he hadn't been let in on the details. "She'll fill you in when you get there."

"Oh. Yeah." He vaguely remembered telling the scientist he was fine for experimenting that morning. Eren uncurled himself from the couch in Levi's office, stretching briefly and groaning when his joints popped. It was unhealthy to stay in such a position all day, not to mention several days in a row, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to do much else unless ordered to. "I guess I'll see you later, then, Captain." He made his way for the door, doing his best not to drag his exhausted feet.

"Eren."

The brunet glanced back at Levi. "Yes, sir?"

"Don't hesitate to tell her 'no,' got it? You're not in any condition to strain yourself."

Eren blinked at him, surprised. "I know that, but don't you trust her, Captain?"

"I don't trust anyone but you."

"Hanji may be a titan fanatic, but she won't do anything that won't help us learn more about my titan form. And besides, if I get hurt, I'll just heal anyways."

Levi sent him a withering glare. "Don't say shit like that. You shouldn't have to bear through abuse just because you can take it. Technically speaking, she has power over you, but don't take her shit. If you want her to stop, make her stop."

There was a threat in his words, and Eren knew it wasn't directed at him. He lowered his head and opened the door. "... yes, sir. I'll see you at dinner."

.-.-.-.-.

Eren blinked awake sleepily, Levi and Hanji's faces swimming into view above him. Neither of them were focused on him. Someone was shouting, Levi looked angry. Eren's mind was hazy. What had just happened?

"Are you _fucking insane_ , Hanji?!"

"You've always said I was."

"Don't fucking kid around! What the  _fuck_ made you think this was a good idea?!"

"Levi, calm down!" A new voice, and Eren struggled to put it to a face as the fog slowly began to lift.

"I am not going to calm down! What would you have done if I hadn't come fast enough, huh?! You  _fucking idiot!_ Are you suicidal?! You almost got yourself and everyone around you  _killed,_ what if -"

"Captain Levi, calm down, that's an order!"

"Erwin -" Levi cut himself off, looking absolutely furious, and released Hanji's shirt. He looked down just in time to catch Eren blinking blearily up at him, confused and a bit frightened.

"C-Captain? What's going on?"

His body was hot and his limbs were mostly numb, a faint ache present. He tried to wriggle his fingers and toes, only to find they weren't there. As details became clearer, he saw there was blood on Levi's face and coat, blood that was rapidly evaporating. Erwin's face came into view and his three superiors looked down at him with concern.

"I think I'd like to know the same thing," Erwin stated sternly, looking between the squad leaders. Levi gave Hanji a pointed glare, and she relented.

"I was just experimenting. Eren gave his consent, and he never told me to stop, so -"

"Hanji," Erwin said warningly. "Details. What was the experiment?"

"I was injecting him with different chemicals to see if they could force him into shifting," Hanji explained, looking anywhere but at her comrades. "Acidic things, to induce pain, and of course, to see if he would heal from the internal damage. That was a success. The pain didn't seem to last long at all. But one of the stronger acids was enough, and, well, he shifted."

"And lost his damn mind," Levi spat. "You put the entire fucking headquarters at risk!"

"Levi, stand down. Take care of Eren. I'll deal with this."

Levi glared harshly at the commander for a moment but relented, scooping Eren up in his arms. Already he was halfway healed, but he was dizzy and feverish from the high heat. Eren nestled into the smaller man's chest, eyes drooping. He couldn't bring himself to care at the moment. He was tired, nobody was hurt, and Levi had him.

But just before he drifted off, he heard a quiet mumble:

"... fucking kill her..."

.-.-.-.-.

_Captain's concern is crazy sometimes. I already knew he was overprotective, but he was pissed at Hanji. Technically she hadn't done anything outside of her power, but..._

_... I hope Levi doesn't take any drastic measures..._


	10. Chapter 10

Krista's eyes drooped dangerously as she wandered the halls, fingers trailing along the wall. Dim torchlight lit her path every few meters while she headed for the staircase that would lead to Hanji's quarters. It was quiet in headquarters, seeing as it was the middle of the night. It was almost peaceful, though a bit eerie with the absence of ambient noise and the fact that she was all by herself. Usually Ymir would have tagged along, but Krista managed to slip out while her girlfriend was passed out. She didn't want her to worry.

She paused in front of the stairs, rubbing her eyes wearily and prepping herself for the climb. Krista was beyond tired, exhausted really, but the stress weighing her down was making it impossible to sleep, leaving her in a zombie-like state all day. Covering her mouth with a yawn, she started on the first step of the spiral staircase.

That was when she heard the scream.

It was very quiet, muffled by fabric, Krista guessed. Fear spiked in her heart. It was three in the morning, everyone should have been sleeping. Those screams were coming from Hanji's quarters! The petite blonde didn't know what compelled her to keep moving. What if she stumbled across a scene like last time? For a moment she nearly turned back, but she came to a sudden realization.

 _If something_ is  _going on... I can expose the murderer._

Krista knew she wasn't the best for the job. She knew if she were to be caught, she would be killed. But it seemed as though waiting around was simply prolonging her death; everyone was being picked off one by one with no obvious pattern, and Krista wasn't in the best condition anyways. She knew it was a possibility the stress would get to her, and in such a dangerous environment, a stress-induced slip-up could result in death. If that didn't happen, it was still very likely everyone was going to die soon unless the murderer was caught.

So, as silently as she was capable of, she tiptoed up the stairs. Another muffled scream and sobbing reached her ears, making her freeze momentarily. There was no doubt in her mind now that something terrible was happening in Hanji's office. Krista hurried up the rest of the steps, carefully making her way down the hall to the sliver of light left by an open door - the door to the titan scientist's laboratory. Slowly, silently, she approached the door and peeked through the tiny crack -

Promptly, she had to swallow back a horrified scream.

Blood... so much blood. Small silver instruments Hanji had used for such delicate operations had found a new home in human flesh. Blue rubber gloves shone with red substance, the owner of the hands standing with his back turned, though it was obvious who it was. Krista's suspicions were proved correct when the captain turned to one of the two figures tied down on the operating table. He reached forward and plucked the gag from her mouth, pressing a scalpel against her throat so she wouldn't scream.

"Enjoying the show?"

She looked so broken, so resigned. Krista could see it in her eyes. Hanji and Levi had been such close friends, even if the shorter had refused to admit it. Yet here he was, torturing the scientist's assistant, having the nerve to act as though it were boring. Tears had left behind streaks on her cheeks, and she could only speak in a hoarse whisper, presumably from the screaming the blonde had heard.

"Stop it, please. Let Moblit go, he hasn't done any wrong -"

"Except for hold Eren down while you put him through misery," Levi interrupted in a harsh bite.

"Exactly!" Hanji rasped pleadingly. "He helped me because he was ordered to! He tried to stop me, Levi, God, just let him live, he won't tell a soul! Kill me instead! This isn't fair!"

"You're right, it isn't fair," Levi hummed. "But life isn't fair. Your mistake has led to your subordinate's misfortune. I want you broken. I want you to know what it's like to see someone you care for being hurt while you have no means to stop it. Don't worry, you'll have your turn."

The poor blood-soaked assistant chose then to wriggle around. Levi let out a sigh as though it were all a bother, and reached forward to remove the gag from Moblit's mouth, who spoke even with the undeniable agony from the knives and scalpels embedded in his body.

"Just look at her, you monster - you've broken her already - just kill me, please -"

"If you so wish."

The rasping, begging scream of "NO!" chilled Krista to the very bone. A dull gurgling noise accompanied the slice in Moblit's throat, until that ceased and it was clear he was dead. Suddenly Hanji was struggling, anger and desperation flashing in her eyes.

"You - you fucking  _monster!"_ she shrieked, screaming made impossible, though she tried nonetheless. "I trusted you!  _Erwin_ trusted you! I suspected it - but I - I never thought you could be the murderer! Why?! If you're going to kill me, tell me why! You offered up your beating heart for humanity! Why would you betray everyone you care for?!"

"Because I don't care for them," Levi said coolly. He pried one of the wicked-looking knives from Moblit's corpse, inspecting the blood-covered blade with disinterest. "I only care for Eren. You've hurt him for the last time. Research is one thing. Fulfilling your sick fantasies is another."

"Sick?  _I'm_ sick?! You bastard,  _you're_ the sick one! And Eren must be too, if he's allowing you to -"

She didn't get to finish her sentence around the knife jammed into her throat. Levi looked livid, tearing the gloves off angrily but making sure no blood got on his arms.

"Don't  _ever_ talk about him like that."

Krista backed away from the door, heart pounding and tears pouring down her face. She did everything possible to keep her breathing quiet and even. Captain Levi? But how? Why?! He had always been crude and unapproachable, but he was also known to be secretly kind and understanding to his soldiers. He cared greatly for his troops, Krista was sure of it! Levi was strong and reliable, Humanity's Strongest for a reason, Commander Erwin's right-hand man! How could this be true?!

The door swung open abruptly, and the murderer was towering over the tiny girl, wielding a titanium blade.

"My, my. You caught me." He sounded  _playful._ "Pity, I liked you. You weren't any bother to Eren. I'm sure you understand."

Krista couldn't give an answer, for in a flash, her head was rolling on the floor and her body's dead weight sent it crashing to the ground after it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it's so short for such a wait but here you go, have a triple-death chapter!
> 
> I won't be updating over break, I won't have internet access, but in the meantime, you should all go read the Christmas oneshot I posted!
> 
> Have happy holidays and ja ne~


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol yeh we all know I'm a terrible procrastinator so shh as far as you're concerned you've been waiting 3 days not 3 weeks. Ok? Ok.
> 
> ... *sob* I'm sorryyyyy it's shoooort

Screams mixed with sobs. Incomprehensible words, though undoubtedly they were threats. Other people, panicked voices mixing with the one, making for a disturbing cacophony of terror and fury.

"Ymir, stop!"

"Calm down, please!"

_"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!"_

"Ymir!"

"Please, Ymir, stop it!"

"I'm going to kill him! I'll tear out his fucking throat! He's going to pay for  _killing my Krista!"_

"He didn't do it!"

She had become a wild animal, hell-bent on revenge. It was a dire hope for everyone that they could calm her, but deep down, they knew she wouldn't. Something in her had broken when they found the body. Some part of her had snapped then, something deep in her brain or heart. It didn't matter.

Suddenly she went limp, breathing ragged as tears poured down her cheeks. Her head drooped against her chest and she dropped like dead weight in her comrades' arms, eyes sliding closed as she started to cry quietly.

Sasha let out an audible sigh of relief. Her grip slackened around the girl's waist. "Shh, Ymir," she murmured, brushing tears off the brunette's face. "Please don't cry. Okay? Krista would have wanted you to be strong."

Connie's grip went loose as well. "Right," he agreed. "Eren didn't do it, alright? He was in the hospital wing all night. Right, Eren?"

Eren could only nod numbly. He was crying too, albeit silently. He let his head fall against the table in the mess hall, shoulders shaking. He couldn't stop the misery coursing through him. It was his fault. Ymir was right. All Eren had to do was exist, and Levi would kill. His heart broke even more when Ymir's sniffles grew into loud, gut-wrenching wails of her dead girlfriend's name, and he wrapped his arms around his middle, choking back his own sobs.

"K-Kri-is-taa-aaa!"

Warm arms wrapped around him, and Eren's chest felt painfully hollow when the familiar scents he associated with Mikasa and Armin wrapped around him like a secure blanket. They thought he was innocent. Everyone thought he was innocent. They were wrong. He had so much blood on his hands. He may not have been the killer, but he was an enabler, a horrible one that willingly let a murderer run rampant.

"Ymir!"

The sharp tone caught everyone's attention, and several heads whipped around in unison to stare at Captain Levi. Several salutes were thrown up, all except for Eren and Ymir, the former still wallowing in despair with his head on the table and the latter busy crying her broken heart out. Sasha nudged the girl gently.

"Ymir. Captain wants you."

The brunette's cries quieted slightly, and she glanced up with red-rimmed eyes. "What do you want?" It sounded hollow, nothing like her usual jibes. She'd always challenged authority, something that scared the other cadets but would be welcomed with open arms now. Anything that meant she was back to normal, but it was too much to ask for.

Levi studied her for a moment, before answering coldly, "Get your shit together, soldier."

Eren was shocked at the harsh command. Raising his head, he glared at the man, snapping out, "Levi." But it was too late to interrupt, for Levi had captured Ymir's attention.

"Get  _my_ shit together?" The raw hatred in her eyes was blurred by tears. "What about you, Captain dearest? Your close friend and her assistant just got brutally murdered!"

"Do you expect me to cry my eyes out?" Levi scoffed. He approached the girl kneeling on the ground, and dropped to one knee. Looking her straight in the eyes, expression neutral, he said, "I still have responsibilities, despite the murders. I can't afford to waste time mourning, and neither can you."

It was dead silent. Ymir's head dropped, and she stared at the ground. Suddenly her shoulders started to shake, and then her whole body. When she looked back up at Levi, her face was contorted in an incomprehensible rage.

"You don't even care, do you?!" And suddenly she was screaming again, lunging at the short captain and bowling him over to the ground. She grabbed at his shoulders and shook him violently, nose to nose as she pinned him down. "Hanji is  _dead!_ Her assistant was tortured! My dear, beloved Krista was beheaded by that  _fucking murderer!_ You heartless bastard, how can you not care?!"

Levi's face remained impassive despite the hostility radiating from her. The room's other occupants were shocked, many trying to verbally coax Ymir off of him, but in doing so, none of them noticed him slip into a familiar, wicked smirk. With her larger frame blocking his, her face pressed up so close, he was able to whisper to her with no one else hearing.

"Perhaps your little girlfriend shouldn't have stuck her nose where it didn't belong."

Ymir's pupils shrunk in realization, and her eyes went wide. Her lips curled back to reveal teeth, and she moved her hands to his throat, pressing down on the short man's windpipe as hard as he could. She knew. She knew he had done it! Unfortunately for her, she couldn't muster anything except hoarse screams, so she settled on the next best thing. Rather than reveal the captain as the murderer he was, she was going to fucking kill him! Then he couldn't kill anyone else! She would avenge her precious girlfriend!

"Ymir, stop!"

"Don't attack him!"

"Ymir, please!"

Eren saw it play-by-play. He ignored his friends in favor of his lover, seeing everything in vivid detail as it played out. Levi's face turning red, and then losing color. The way his eyes had started to cloud over, even as his expression remained impassive. Svelte fingers creeping toward his boot as his lips tinged blue, grasping a dagger hidden there and pulling it out. Almost in slow motion how he raised it and, in a flash, stabbed it into the back of his attacker's neck.

As Ymir's eyes slid shut, her expression of shock remained in death, and her grip on her victim's throat slackened. She slumped forward onto Levi, and the latter pushed her off, coughing harshly. The captain held a hand to his throat as he coughed, struggling upright and into a chair as the others looked on in horror. His throat burned, and he silently cursed himself for not acting sooner against Ymir, but it was too late for that.

"Captain, are... are you alright?"

"He just killed Ymir!"

"Yeah, because  _she_  was trying to kill  _him_ , idiot!"

"I can't believe Ymir just lost it like that. Captain was being a little insensitive, but..."

Levi tuned him out. He focused on the brunet kneeling in front of him, large sea-green eyes trained on him in a mix of worry and apprehension. Eren waited until the coughing subsided and offered a glass of water to the captain, and suddenly Levi had no idea what the cadet was thinking. Eren's face was guarded, his eyes trained on something past Levi.

"Are you alright?" he asked quietly.

"Fine," Levi replied, just as quietly. Suddenly he wasn't so satisfied over his little victory. He massaged his throat gently, grimacing. "Are there bruises?"

"Yeah. They'll probably be there a while."

Levi sighed. "Well, I know how to cover those."

"Is this really the time for those jokes?" Eren snapped, looking affronted. Levi glared at him.

"I was talking about the fact that people have tried to choke me to death before, Jaeger."

Eren looked away. His stiff posture loosened, and he rested his cheek against Levi's thigh, closing his eyes. The others had left in search of other superiors. Gentle fingers threaded through his thick hair, and the ache in his chest returned.

"I was scared," he admitted quietly. "I thought she was going to kill you."

"You should have been happy. I'm a murderer. You shouldn't have worried."

"I know. But I did anyways. Does that make me messed up like you, Levi?"

The hand on his head stilled briefly, but started again like nothing had happened. "I don't know. It would be good news for me."

Eren shivered.

.-.-.-.-.

_I'm turning into him._

_I don't know what to do anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol so halfway through this I remembered that Reiner was in fact dead and had to take him out so please if I ever slip up and put in an already dead character tell me so I can fix it
> 
> read, comment, subscribe, kudos, and don't kill me for waiting so long! Ja ne~


	12. Chapter 12

"Sasha and Connie have been acting strangely, don't you think?"

Mikasa's musing reached Eren's ears, waking him slightly from his trancelike state. He'd been doing that more and more lately, though he wasn't sure what to call it. Daydreaming? Mm, not quite. It was like he shut himself off, sometimes for hours at a time, simply performing the most basic human functions, and sometimes even skipping those.

It was easier this way. He could avoid all the internal debate and depressing thoughts.

"Why do you say?" he asked quietly. Mikasa's head snapped around and she looked shocked when her eyes landed on him. Then there were tears shimmering in her eyes, but she blinked them away rapidly. Her hand closed over his as she composed herself, though for the life of him, Eren couldn't figure out why she was suddenly so emotional.

"They've been avoiding everyone, haven't you noticed?" That was Armin, though he sounded distant. He had his nose buried in a notebook, as he had every time Eren had seen him the last few times he'd bothered to pay attention. He was scribbling furious, so fast Eren dimly worried that the paper would catch fire. "They also whisper a lot amongst themselves. I suspect they probably think one of us is the murderer."

"Why?" Eren questioned, perplexed.

"Well, if it's not one of them, it's got to be one of us, right?" Armin didn't even look at him.

"But it's not," Eren stressed. "I hope," he threw in quickly, to make sure they didn't think he knew.

"What if it's one of them?" Mikasa asked, keeping her voice down as she stared at the duo on the other side of the cafeteria.

"I don't think so," Armin said thoughtfully, flipping through pages in his notebook.

"So do you think it's one of us?" Mikasa accused playfully. Armin snorted.

"Hardly."

"What are you writing?" Eren piped in suddenly, peeking over his best friend's shoulder. Could he still call Armin that? He hadn't been much of a friend to any of them. Lying, concealing, allowing them all to die. He repressed a shiver.

Armin snatched his book away, a vicious look on his features briefly before he schooled his expression into a calm one. "You aren't allowed to see. Nobody is."

"You don't trust me?" Hurt flashed across Eren's face. Even though there were very good reasons not to trust him, Armin didn't know all he'd done, or at least he was fairly certain. Was there something else he had done?

"I can't take chances," Armin said simply, averting his gaze. "There's only a seventeen percent chance you did anything, Eren, but there's a large chance that anyone in this entire building could be an accomplice or enabler. As much as my heart tells me you're innocent..." The blond placed a hand on his chest for emphasis, then moved it to his forehead. "... my brain tells me not to tell anyone. That includes you two. All I can say is I'm writing about the murders."

Eren nodded slowly, eyes dulling as he reverted back into his trancelike state. Mikasa's arm around his waist felt like the only thing keeping him grounded to reality these days. He'd been avoiding Levi lately, and it was showing in his workload, though not negatively. The captain was going easy on him, giving him the least hours for the easiest tasks. Was it some form of apology? That was the only thing Eren could come up with. Maybe Levi was worried. Maybe he thought Eren was trying to leave him, trying to end their relationship.

Eren couldn't ever do that, no matter how much he hated Levi. He loved him so much it hurt. He just didn't think he could take being so close to the murderer. Not anymore.

It was wearing down on his health, it was obvious. Everything was. His once sun-kissed skin was pale, an almost deathly pallor reminiscent of his boyfriend's. Once-beautiful turquoise eyes were now dull, heavy bags dragging them down, red-rimmed from crying so much. His body always felt heavy. So, so heavy. It was always hard to move. He was considering dragging himself upstairs and laying down for rest, and perhaps just not getting up the next morning.

Armin's voice snapped him out of that dark place.

"Eureka," he breathed, eyes huge behind his reading glasses as he stared at something on the page. He dropped his pencil and slammed the notebook shut, expression closed off as he clutched it to his chest. He stood up quickly and glanced down at his bewildered friends. "Eren, can we talk privately?"

"Privately?"

"Yes. There's something I have to ask."

Fear coursed through Eren at his words. Something in his gut told him something was wrong. Still, he stood and followed his friend into the hall, his fingers sliding from Mikasa's outstretched hand. She stared after them until they disappeared from sight, and Armin led his friend a little ways down the hall before looking around to see if they were alone. Taking a deep breath, he mustered up the most serious look he could give, and spoke.

"Is it Levi?"

Eren's blood ran cold. He supposed he shouldn't have been surprised Armin would be the one to find out. But now he was terrified. An overwhelming sense of relief came with someone finding out, but he was also struck by the immense fear of his lover being taken from him. He had promised himself that he wouldn't rescue Levi if he was found out, but he didn't tell himself he'd merely let it happen, either.

He forced out a laugh. "Levi? Of all people, it can't be him. He's been pissed about all the paperwork."

Armin clearly didn't believe him, but the complete lack of doubt in his eyes shocked Eren.

"Eren... he's not threatening you, is he?"

"Armin..."

So many words and phrases flashed through his head, so many things he could say to deny or refute his best friend the information he demanded. But he knew Armin would see through it all, and he couldn't risk the blond thinking he was being forced into anything. That would guarantee Levi's punishment faster than anything. So he begged. Dropping to his knees as helpless tears started to well up, he clutched at Armin's shirt.

"Please, Armin... don't tell anyone..."

"Don't tell anyone?!" Armin hissed, looking offended. "He's killed all of our friends! He's lost his mind, Eren. Why are you defending him?"

"Because..."

Eren gripped at the fabric tighter, trying to hold onto his composure. The words 'I love him' bounced around in his head and he barely stopped himself from saying it. He couldn't. That would only make Armin suspect him, think something was wrong with his friend. Perhaps there was.

"Because he'll kill you," Eren gasped out instead. It was true, and his heart twisted and writhed at the thought that he hadn't come up with that first. Was Levi's safety worth that much more to him? "He'll kill you before you can tell anyone. Please, Armin... I don't want him to kill you."

He didn't want to see Armin like that. Bruised and bloody and broken, the life gone from his eyes. Armin was precious. He loved Armin so much. He didn't know what he'd do with himself if Armin was killed. He knew it was naive, but he never thought he'd have to choose between two people he loved dearly.

"Eren, I..." The conflict on Armin's features was clear. "Please, Eren, tell me. Is he threatening you? Hurting you?"

"No, Armin... he... he loves me." It was such a strange concept, that someone who hated the world loved someone who dearly wanted to save it. "He wouldn't lay a finger on me."

"You're certain?"

"I'm certain. But that means he blames everyone else for everything. Armin, please,  _please_ don't tell anyone!"

Armin was silent, the gears in his head turning. "I won't. For now." Before Eren could thank him, the blond continued. "But only if you turn him in, because he won't hurt you."

"But Armin -"

"I don't care if you love him, Eren," Armin growled, hitting the nail on the head. It was disorienting to see Armin so upset and angry at him, but he had all the right to be. "I'm giving you two days. It's me or him, Eren. Make your choice."

And he pried Eren's hands off of his shirt and stormed back to the cafeteria.

Shock coursed through his entire being. He supposed he shouldn't be surprised with the sudden change of events, but he couldn't help it. As tears overcame him and helpless sobs shook his frame, he wondered what he could possibly do to fix things, but he knew it was too late.

"He's figured me out, huh?"

Eren nearly jumped out of his skin at the familiar voice, and when warm, soothing arms wrapped around him in what was supposed to be a comforting embrace, he curled in on himself. Levi clicked his tongue, unimpressed, as he scooped Eren into his arms and started walking down the hall to his office. The brunet couldn't bring himself to do anything but cling desperately to the captain, hating himself for it.

"Please don't."

"I can't stop it, you know. It's kill or be killed."

"When are you going to do it?"

"Midnight tonight. If it's any consolation, I didn't want to have to kill him. He's too smart for his own good."

Eren's heart thundered loudly in his chest as he curled up tighter, hoping it would stop beating altogether.

.-.-.-.-.

_Armin was found missing the next morning._

_I'm a horrible person._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we'll be done with this fic soon... wow.

_"Eren?!"_

_"Armin, I have to do it. It's this, or he kills you."_

_"Eren, you don't have to! We can turn him in! Come with me. We can tell the central government. Do what's right!"_

_"I'm sorry, Armin. This is the only way. I have to... for us."_

_"For you and I, or you and him?" the blond boy spat._

_"Both," the brunet responded softly._

.-.-.-.-.

"You did it, didn't you?"

Eren flinched at the almost accusing tone.

"Did what?" he asked quietly.

"Killed him," Levi answered bluntly, face unreadable. Eren was silent, chin never moving from Levi's shoulder or arms from around his shoulders. The teenager made no move to leave Levi's lap, speaking in a dull monotone.

"Maybe I did. Why does it matter?"

"Because if he was missing when I went after him, either someone else got him, or he suspected me and escaped, which would be no good."

Taking a shuddering breath, chest aching in the first emotion that had broken through in days, Eren replied, "Fine then, yeah. I got rid of him. He's no longer your problem."

Levi hesitated on his next words, a strange and foreign concept to the both of them. "Sorry."

"It was my own decision."

"But I put you in that position."

"I put myself in that position, and the decision was made by me alone."

Levi's voice had a teasing lilt, but there was also concern and guilt. Ironic. Everything had so much irony in it lately. "Not for me?"

"If I wasn't such a coward, I would have had you killed," Eren spat bitterly. "I would have told Erwin, would have told everyone, because you can't kill them all at once. But I'm a selfish coward. I know I wouldn't be able to handle losing you. I made my decision for myself and no one else."

"Is that so… Still, I didn't think you had it in you." Levi nuzzled his neck affectionately. "I suppose I should be worried for you, but honestly, I couldn't be more pleased."

"Why?" Eren growled. He hated himself so much. He was angry and hurt and depressed, but outside of his self-depreciating thoughts, he craved Levi. Craved the closeness, the intimacy. It was an instinct by now, something he desperately needed in his life, and he couldn't let go no matter how much he wanted to. "Because I'm becoming a monster?"

Levi didn't respond, but Eren knew the answer was yes.

"But not that you care. No. You're just going to keep on killing, aren't you? And I won't stop you. I _can't_ stop you."

They were both so fucked up. One was a psychopath who refused to change his ways even if he knew he was wrong. The other was a pathetic, torn human being that was slowly going mad, so indecisive that he let people die as he slowly deteriorated from the inside.

"You could stop me," Levi mused quietly. "You could kill me, and I wouldn't hurt anyone else. I wouldn't be able to kill any more."

"I can't," Eren repeated, even quieter, and his eyes burned as for the first time in a long time, tears threatened to fall. "I hate you, damn it, I hate you so much. I hate that I love you. I hate myself, I hate you, fuck..."

Levi's heart threatened to break with just those words, and he held Eren tighter. "I love you," he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut. "I love you no matter how much you hate me."

Eren let the tears fall, his once strong, now thin and feeble frame shaking with harsh sobs. All Levi could do was hold him close.

.-.-.-.-.

"You called for me, Commander?"

Erwin smiled softly at Eren, gesturing to the seat on the other side of his desk. "I did. Sit, Jaeger."

Eren obeyed, eyes shifting around the room uncomfortably. He didn't look at his superior, afraid of what he'd been called there for. Erwin seemed complacent now, but nowadays everyone was a demon in Eren's eyes, accusing and hateful and waiting to strike out at him. "What did you call me for, sir?"

"Something grave, I'm afraid," the blond said, smile slipping a notch. He poured Eren a cup of tea and slid it over to him, waiting for the boy to take it before speaking again. "Careful, it's hot. Now... I hate to bring it up with all that you have lost, but I'm here to ask a few questions about the murders."

Eren's heart stopped.

_Not Erwin. Please, God, not Erwin. We can't lose Erwin. Please, please, please-!_

"Eren?"

"I don't know anything." Eren couldn't look at him, or perhaps simply wouldn't. He stared at his tea, steam wafting onto his face and porcelain burning his hands. "Please... I've been interrogated enough, sir. I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"I understand, Eren," Erwin said sympathetically. "I know you have lost many friends. I have, too. I want to get to the bottom of this, Eren, and not just for the law. I want the killer brought to justice. Don't you want revenge?"

"I used to." _Before I found out who it was._ "Now, I just... I wish they would just stop."

Erwin's eyes furrowed as he looked over his cadet. Eren had once been such a tough kid - brash, headstrong, confident. Now he seemed broken, not a trace of the old soldier left in him. He used to look good, too, healthy and strong, but now he looked as though a strong wind could blow him away from them. It was such a sad sight, knowing one of his strongest soldiers had degraded to such a pathetic existence. Erwin sighed deeply, reluctant to say what was in his mind, but knowing he had to.

"Eren... I think I know who it is."

Eren's eyes shot wide open and his head jerked up, their eyes meeting. He looked almost panicked. "D-Do you?" he asked, and Erwin couldn't decipher what that look or tone meant, but he nonetheless answered.

"I think it's Captain Levi, as hard as that may be to believe. And as close as I am aware you two are -"

Eren interrupted him, swallowing hard. "Why would you think it's Levi?"

"I know it's hard to believe," Erwin said, tone sympathetic, and it took everything in Eren's power not to snort loudly at the notion. "There is evidence that some of these murders were done by a very experienced killer. Precise cuts, a clear knowledge of the human anatomy... and it seems as though some of them were made out as almost a _display."_ He sounded disgusted at the thought, and all Eren could think was, _Damn right they were._ "You were accused because all of the victims had wronged you at some point in time, but now, you have very clear alibis for nearly all of them, and Krista did you no wrong. Levi, however..."

"You're right."

Erwin stared at him in surprise, which was rapidly turning into shock as the words sank in. He barely managed his next words.

"You knew? All this time?"

"Since just before Jean died."

"Why didn't you tell anyone, Jaeger? Was Levi threatening you?"

Eren tilted his head. "That's part of it. He wasn't threatening me directly. He would never hurt me."

Erwin's face hardened. He seemed to be catching on quickly, realizing what was coming. "And why are you so certain?"

"Because he loves me."

Eren felt his lips widen into a smile, and he couldn't stop it. He had always known, always been aware that Levi loved him, but suddenly it clicked. He _understood._ He'd always thought he knew, but he hadn't. Now he understood it on an entirely new level, accepted it, _embraced_ it. Levi loved him so much, loved him with every fiber of his being, and Eren welcomed it, reciprocated it. He loved Levi, too. He understood everything so suddenly, accepted what Levi had done, loved him so powerfully that suddenly those deaths meant nothing.

Levi killed for him because he couldn't bear the thought of losing him to anything, and Eren knew know, was certain of it - he would do the same.

Eren stood up, that Cheshire grin still stretching his lips, growing wider. "He killed Reiner because he was jealous. Reiner had a crush on me, I guess. Cute, isn't it? He was so worried his pup would run away to a new master. Adorable, if you ask me."

It was clear Erwin understood his fate. He rested his elbows on his desk, eyes blazing as he spat, "Endearing."

"Now, Bertholdt..." Eren's smile slipped a notch. "Bert tried to kill me. That hurt me." It truly did, a familiar ache filling his chest, and he placed a hand over his heart and willed it to go away. "Levi was protecting me. He saved my life. I owe him my loyalty." Then he remembered the next victim. "Jean hated me. He never would have been convinced I was innocent. We would have been at each other's throats until we killed each other."

"That was a hate killing," Erwin commented, resting his chin on laced fingers. "Levi bludgeoned him to death."

"Yes, he was angry," Eren agreed lightly. "He was furious. He got revenge for me, because I never would have done it. Jean hated me. Levi let his emotions get the better of him, and it almost got him caught."

"Levi often fooled me," Erwin muttered. "He was clever. He knew exactly what to say to make all my suspicions evaporate."

"That's what you get when you let someone like him close," Eren stated coldly. "That's what you get for trusting anyone with a killer on the loose. Some brilliant Commander you are."

Erwin stared at him with a glint in his eyes, something knowing, and Eren hated it. It was as though the man was staring through him, laying his very soul bare in front of him, and nobody but Levi was allowed to do that. _Nobody._ Eren shook his head wildly, smile disappearing, and he started to count off the other deaths.

"Hanji hurt me. Moblit helped. I wasn't too upset with them, but Levi was furious."

"Krista was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was her own fault for snooping. He didn't want to kill her."

"Ymir was crazed. She tried to kill him. He was defending himself. Naturally, he baited her, but she was the one that tried to end him."

Erwin's face remained impassive through the list of murders, but when Eren paused, he asked, "And Arlert?"

"Armin?" Eren tapped his chin. "Well, Armin found out it was Levi. Fitting, with how similar you two are. I couldn't have him blabbing to you, nor could I have Levi kill him... so I took care of him." He didn't smile for this one, his newfound amusement at the subject dimming down. His next words were a faint murmur. "Armin won't interfere with us any more."

"And I assume I won't either?"

"No, you won't. But you'll meet a much worse fate than Armin." Eren picked up his tea, still scalding hot, enough to burn severely. "I was merciful with Armin. His life was in my hands, and I treated it like it was precious. But you?" His face contorted into a mask of pure rage. "You're done for, commander. Scream and I'll kill anyone that comes to help."

Erwin smiled then, closing his eyes. He looked so serene, so peaceful even in the face of death, and for some reason that angered Eren further.

"I believe you, Jaeger."

.-.-.-.-.

_Blood. Blood, blood, blood, everywhere, oh god!_

_Knocking on the door. Shit. Blood. Blood. It's all over the place. I'm covered in it_

_God, it reeks of death_

_Shit they're pounding on the door it's Mike oh god oh god what do I do he's dead_

_I killed him fuck I can't stop crying he knows I'm here_

_Levi Levi Levi_

_Save me_

_What have I done?_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay that was the most responses I've ever gotten in the space of an hour after updating a fic and I just want to thank you guys for being bloodthirsty psychos that love my plot twists
> 
> sOME ONE HELP BTS DOPE KEEPS DISTRACTING ME AND I'M TRYING TO LEARN TO DANCE IT BUT I'M A WHITE GIRL I CAN'T FUCKING DANCE

"Oh g-god..."

Eren's blubbering and crying reached Levi even from around the corner, and fear instantly spiked in his heart, accompanied by rage. He'd known when Eren had been called to Erwin's office that nothing good could come of it, and found himself heading to the Commander's office not ten minutes after his lover had left. Now, with loud crying echoing down the hallway and the knowledge that he was right, Levi found himself dashing down the corridor and toward the open door at the end.

"Eren-!"

He skidded to a halt with his hand on the door frame, and his heart nearly stopped at the sight before him. Blood, too much blood to belong to simply one person, especially not one of the two that he'd known to be in the room, even if Erwin was a fucking giant. Where had all of this come from?

As Levi scanned the gory mess on the floor, he fought to fight down the terror that tried to claw its way up his throat. He'd never felt fear like this before, not since he'd lost his entire world through the death of two people. Now he was staring at two more bodies, more people he once cared for, cold and lifeless and hardly recognizable. Curled up in a corner a few feet away was another person, the source of the crying, covered in blood and gore and hyperventilating.

"Eren," Levi breathed, an impossibly powerful sense of relief washing over him as he rushed over to the boy and gathered him in his arms, mindless of the blood that splashed at his feet and seeped into his clothes. "Eren, fuck, what happened?"

"L-Levi - Levi!"

The brunet clawed desperately at the man's jacket, nails digging in as he gasped for air. His eyes were wide and face splattered with blood, with a few clean trails cleared by the unrelenting flow of tears. Eren thrashed wildly in his captain's grasp, choking around his sobs and the lump in his throat. Turquoise orbs were hazy and unseeing, staring right through Levi's worried face to fix on some unknown terror. Levi held Eren's arms down as well as he could, trying to stop his flailing, to no avail.

"Eren, stop, it's okay, I'm here!" Levi hadn't felt desperation like this in years. He tried rocking the boy back and forth, shushing him the best he could. "Please, Eren, calm down, talk to me, what's wrong?!"

"Can't-!" Eren's hands went to his own throat, and he clawed at the skin there, voice cracking and muted through his tears. "Le- Levi- b-breathe, can't... L-Levi!"

His chest heaved, shuddered, and with every second Levi's fear that it would stop moving increased. He ran his fingers soothingly through blood-streaked hair. "Shh, Eren, please. Come back to me." If the boy lost himself in the throes of panic, if he overwhelmed himself in the anxiety trying to consume him, he might never come back, and then all that Levi had done would be for naught. "Eren, breathe with me."

"C-Can't-"

"You can. I know you can." Levi took a deep, shaky breath, and let it out, ignoring his own fear. "Now you. In, out. Calm down..."

"D-Dead - killed - all my fault -"

"You had to do it." Levi had faith in that, at least, even if he was too frightened to be happy about it. He was sure that Eren had done what was necessary. "Now breathe..."

Finally, _thankfully,_ Eren allowed himself the opportunity to try, and he took in great, shuddering lungfuls of air. Levi smoothed his hair back, held his free hand, planted kisses on his face. Anything to calm him.

"You okay?"

"N-No. Better, barely. Not okay."

Levi sighed, knowing he shouldn't have expected a positive response, but still feeling guilty at the words. He petted the shifter's hair lovingly, resting his cheek on Eren's head. "What happened?" he asked softly.

"Erwin knew. Thought I was a victim." Eren laughed, a bone-chilling sound. Levi found himself smiling at the noise. "Showed him I wasn't. Didn't think murder would be so easy. Didn't think it would drive me so insane."

"Let me guess, Mike found you?"

"Yeah. Thought something else happened, somehow." Another laugh, crazed this time, and shaking bloody fingers reached up to grasp at his brown locks. "Thought you came in and killed him. Realized it was me. I killed him too. So much blood, Levi, god, it's such a mess, didn't know there'd be so much..."

"It's beautiful," Levi murmured, pressing a kiss to the mop of brown hair. He surveyed the room, the splatters of red everywhere, the lifeless bodies, the gore all over the room. He dipped his fingers in the stomach and traced them over his lover's face lovingly. "You're beautiful. You look stunning like this."

Eren copied him, cupping blood-covered hands to Levi's face and thumbing under his eyes, smearing the substance over his skin. "You do too," he whispered, a small smile painting his features. "You look gorgeous, covered in it like this. You - you look like you _belong_ covered in blood."

His smile grew, a dazzling display of pearly whites. Eren was seeing his captain in a whole new light, a beautiful disaster, a whirlwind of beautiful death and destruction. A breathtaking god of death, merciless and filled with unrelenting bloodlust.

Levi mirrored his expression, overwhelmed with emotion at the sudden transformation his lover had undergone. "My beautiful Eren. You have no idea just how _thrilled_ this makes me. What changed?"

"I don't know," Eren breathed. "I just... snapped. He was going to turn you in. I wouldn't let him. I... I realized... I understood you. In that moment, I felt how terrible it would be to lose you. I couldn't take it." His smile faltered momentarily, but then returned full-force. "A world of our own, like you said. That's what we need. Some place where no one will bother us. Where I can love you in peace, where you can love me, where we can just be together forever."

"We can forget the government," Levi added gently. "Forget everyone here, forget the titans. Go see the ocean together."

Eren's breath hitched, and for a second, regret flashed over his features. Levi feared he had crossed some invisible line - Arlert, Ackerman, and he had always wanted to see the ocean. But then Eren buried his face in Levi's chest, curling up comfortably in the embrace.

"I'd love that."

.-.-.-.-.

"The complaint has been placed with the government," Levi said darkly, spitting the word 'complaint' out with venom, as though putting it so lightly disgusted him. Wide-eyes soldiers watched him, some in shock, others in fear. "I'm afraid that our advances will be put to a screeching halt until the MPs decide to send someone down here to investigate the murders. I..." Suddenly he looked remorseful, and for an instant, Eren knew he regretted everything he had done, every promise he'd broken. "I'm sorry. Our operations have been frozen in their tracks. We'll likely be unable to do anything for months."

"We can't assign someone else as Commander?" someone asked shakily, a faceless soldier.

"Captain Levi should do it."

"Right! He's Humanity's Strongest!"

"Or maybe we could get Shadis to come back?!"

Hopeful voices filled the mess hall, but upon Levi raising his hand, they all fell silent and the hope faded from their faces at his grim expression.

"None of that will work. I'm... not exactly a fit leader. Shadis has already retired and will never return. We can't make a decision ourselves, anyway."

It seemed he wasn't going to say anymore. Perhaps he just didn't want to deal with the onslaught of questions and misguided fears, or simply couldn't bear to listen to the soldiers he'd let down. The captain moved away from the head of the table, head bowed as he walked through the throng of soldiers, brushing off any words directed at him. Upon reaching Eren, he merely linked their fingers together, before whisking the boy away to his quarters - their quarters.

Eren settled down in his usual place in Levi's lap, nestling against him and nuzzling the pale neck. He spent a moment or two in silence, before murmuring, "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were really upset about the circumstances."

Levi's lips twitched into an uncontrollable grin, and he pressed a kiss to Eren's temple. "You know me so well. I love it."

"Not worried the MPs will find out?"

"They're too much of idiots. Besides, they won't come for a long while, ages even." Levi's hands stilled on Eren's hips. "Does it bother you? Our titan killing escapades are no longer going to happen. You were always so determined to kill them."

"I... it does," Eren responded truthfully. "But not as much as it should. I've already done enough to disappoint the people I used to love. I don't think... I don't think getting revenge for Mom will do anything for me now." He sounded somber, and Levi ran gentle hands up and down his back sympathetically. "What about you? All the promises you made? Isabel and Farlan and all those dead soldiers under your command?"

"I've come to terms with the fact that the task is impossible," Levi said quietly. "It hurt for a while when I first realized there was no way to make up for the deaths, but now... well... let's just say I've always excelled at being a failure, and I've grown to excel at dealing with that fact."

Eren pulled back to stare into his lover's eyes, brow furrowing. "You're not a failure, Levi. If you're a failure, what the hell would that make me? You can't fulfill impossible promises, and you can't dwell on the past."

"You're right. I can't linger in what could never be. You shouldn't either." He stole Eren's lips in a sweet, gentle kiss. "All that matters to me is you. You're the only thing in life that makes it worth living. And if anyone else tries to interfere..."

"We'll get rid of them," Eren finished, sea green gazing into silver lovingly.

.-.-.-.-.

_I'm officially fucked, but that's okay. We can be fucked up together._

_I can't help but wonder - was I always like this? Always demented, always a fucking psycho? A wolf in sheep's skin? I always thought I wasn't mourning enough over the deaths... guess it doesn't matter, but I'm curious. When it comes down to it, I suppose murdering two guys without flinching when you're nine isn't the best sign of good mental health, but that's okay._

_It just means Levi and I were meant to be._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. I'm going to cry. You guys are reviewing again. I haven't had this many people reviewing since... fuck, The Purge. Thank you guys so much.
> 
> There's two chapters left of this - including this one - then it's over.
> 
> Remember when I said only one important character will survive?

 

"Connie, can you bring me that bucket?"

The request was carried out with a small scoff, and then absolute silence. Eren accepted the pail from his fellow cadet, furrowing his eyebrows when Connie quietly returned to scrubbing dishes with Sasha. He leaned over and whispered something to the girl, and Sasha nodded, a slight incline of the head that was barely noticeable. They were practically joined at the hip, the closeness making their workspace awkward and clumsy, but they didn't seem to care.

The duo had been extremely quiet lately, ignoring any small talk from anyone and sticking to each other like they were glued. Sasha threw a glance over her shoulder, something similar to an eagle's watchful gaze, and it caused a shiver to run down Eren's spine. He wasn't sure what was up with them lately, but he felt it couldn't be anything good.

"They've been acting off, haven't they?" Mikasa was leaning over to murmur to Eren, and he nodded, wringing out his sponge and scrubbing at the kitchen counters.

"Yeah, it's not just you. They've been cold to everyone."

"I wonder why?"

"Bet they think one of us is the murderer. Can't say I blame them." Eren glanced up at her, and she was startled by the apathetic expression on his face. "All they know is that the murderer is still alive and killing, and his motive is unknown."  _To anyone but us, at least._ Eren had to resist a fond smile at the thought of Levi, covered in blood and staring into his very soul with those beautiful silver eyes. It was a breathtaking sight.

"How can they trust each other, though?" Mikasa asked quietly. Eren quirked an eyebrow.

"Do you honestly think either of them is it?"

"I guess you have a point," Mikasa relented. "I mean... Sasha has incredible instincts, and they've always been close."

Eren nodded, losing interest in the conversation. He felt guilty, knowing how scared everyone must be, knowing how broken the soldiers had to be lately, but he couldn't bring himself to care too much. He felt kind of bad, having been a large part of why they were all so downcast and that their military branch was basically disbanded, but when he thought of Levi and their relationship and their raw devotion to each other, he couldn't help but lose interest in the Survey Corps.

Nothing was more important than Levi.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. The captain entered the kitchen, and the four cadets threw up salutes, abandoning their chores. Levi scanned the room, nodding once. "It looks good. Seems like I've trained you brats well."

"We don't exactly have too much else to do, sir," Sasha scoffed, glaring darkly past Levi and at a spot in the wall. He raised his eyebrows, and Mikasa looked shocked. Eren, however, simply watched.

"Watch your tone with me, soldier," Levi warned.

"It's true, though," Connie spoke up, dropping his salute daringly. He crossed his arms. "Thanks to the murderer, we can't do anything. All we do is sit around and clean!"

Levi's expression didn't change, but Eren noticed the glint in his eyes. The captain stalked forward, leaning in close until he was nose to nose with the bald cadet. Connie shrank back slightly, but he didn't even blink - that is, until Levi growled out at him in a low tone.

"Well then, why don't you get up off your lazy fucking ass and figure out who the murderer is?" Connie narrowed his eyes at Levi, but when Levi pressed closer, he frowned and had to push away a look of fear. "Because that's the number one thing stopping us, Springer."

"I have a better question!" Sasha jumped in to rescue her friend, pushing Connie away from the captain. "What are  _you_ doing to catch the murderer?! You act so high and mighty, but it's been months! Can't you go any faster?!"

"Unless you have some complex way to scan fingerprints or analyze blood, I'm afraid you can't hurry along the process," Levi sneered. "Unless you have some idea of who it is?"

Sasha and Connie shared knowing looks, and Connie was the one who spoke.

"We do."

"Our first suspect was Erwin," Sasha said solemnly, "but he's been killed, so that isn't right."

"Now we have three suspects," Connie continued. "You three, in fact. Mikasa was our first guess." The girl looked completely taken aback by that. "A lot of the murders had something to do with Eren, and our first thought was, Mikasa would do anything for Eren."

"But it didn't make sense," Sasha threw in. "Mikasa would do anything for Armin, too, so why would she kill him? So then we thought our Captain could be it. Captain would have no qualms killing most of the victims. He's experienced and deadly. But, then, why would he attack his friends? He had no reason to go after Erwin or Mike."

"That led us to Eren." All eyes turned to the brunet, and Eren fought to keep his startled expression, rather than simply end their stupid speculation altogether. "Eren could kill, certainly. He's a monster. We've all seen his bloodlust. He could even kill his best friend to keep a secret."

"But then we thought harder, and we came to the conclusion that since none of your stories quite add up, it could be all of you."

Did they not realize how stupid it was to confess all this? They were looking on triumphantly as though they'd won some kind of game, as though figuring it out meant everything could be fixed. Eren met eyes with Levi, and a silent conversation took place.

_Do we take care of them?_

_No, I'll handle this._

Levi rolled his eyes and sighed, giving off the impression of someone tired and irate. He pushed his fingers through his hair and said, "You're fucking lucky none of us are the killer."

"How can we believe you?"

"Because if even one of us was, we would have killed everyone in this room just to keep our secret, you fucking idiots!" Levi grabbed the front of Connie's shirt, shaking him roughly. "What did you think you'd accomplish by revealing the killer when you have less experience and would be cornered?!" He practically threw the cadet away from him, turning quickly and walking back to the door. "Both of you are to join the new cadets' training down at the courtyard with Squad Leader Dita. Ackerman!"

Mikasa brought her fist back up in a salute, snapping back into alertness. "Sir!"

"Go with them. Tell Dita they're to be punished for accusing comrades of heinous crimes."

"Yes, sir!"

"And you two -" Levi curled his lip back into a snarl. "Be glad you're not being court-marshaled for this."

Mikasa looked a cross between shocked, hurt, and disgusted, and she led the duo out without another word. Eren and Levi sat in silence until they heard the footsteps fade completely, and then Eren let out a little giggle.

"You're a really good liar."

"I pride myself on my acting," Levi hummed, grinning as he pulled Eren closer by the waist. "I have to say, though, I don't pull off the innocent victim look nearly as well as you."

"It's because you're a grumpy old man," Eren joked, smacking Levi's chest playfully.

"Oi. I am a  _sexy_ old man, thank you very much, you fucking brat."

Eren's smile faded, and his hands went up to Levi's face, fingers tracing lightly over flawless pale skin. "What are you going to do to them?" he asked quietly.

"Make it look like an accident," the raven replied, expression darkening as he buried his face in the brunet's neck. Eren tilted his head, allowing Levi better access as he pressed delicate kisses to the caramel skin. "How  _dare_ they accuse you?"

"I am a murderer now," Eren pointed out, breathless as the gentle brush of lips turned to a tongue trailing across his skin. "Just because I'm the lesser of two evils doesn't mean I've done nothing wrong."

"Nobody's going to put you in danger while I'm still breathing. I don't care what you've done. You're not going to face the consequences if I can help it, even if we have to run away to save you."

Eren chuckled softly, threading his fingers through inky locks. "You're like a child sometimes. Thanks for the sentiment."

.-.-.-.-.

"E-Eren - oh  _god_  - Eren, wake up!"

The brunet groaned as he was disturbed from his seat, and he unfolded himself from the uncomfortable position in the chair in Levi's office. Eren glanced up to see Mikasa's horrified expression, and immediately he was alert, glancing around the office for any danger. Levi wasn't there, and the door was flung wide open. Everyone knew to keep that door shut -

"Mikasa? What's wrong?"

"It's Sasha and Connie, they - fuck, just come look."

The stench of blood reached Eren's nose before they even reached the stables. He covered his nose, cringing at the smell, and Mikasa mirrored him. She faltered with her hand on the handle, but in a burst of courage she pushed the door open.

Wow... Levi had certainly done a good job with this one. Not too messy. There was a shovel lying on the ground and Sasha's face was smashed inward, her fingers loosely grasping a hatchet. A few feet away lay Connie with his arm barely still attached. Eren nearly retched as the smell hit him again like a wave, and he determinedly pinched his nose shut.

"They killed each other?"

"I'm not sure. Do you think they could have?"

"They could have gotten suspicious of each other," Eren suggested, stepping closer to the corpses. Sasha wasn't even recognizable, and Connie was deathly pale with blood loss. Red stained the ground and hay, and the horses stamped and whinnied nervously around them. "If Connie started to suspect Sasha, she would have felt it. Like you said, her instincts are strong. They could have turned on one another."

Mikasa looked horrified. "How - how are you so  _neutral_ about all this?!"

Eren raised his eyebrows, and realized with a jolt how factual he'd been as he spoke. "Shit, I guess I am," he muttered, glancing back down at the bodies. "I'm a bit desensitized to it now."

"How can you just get used to our friends dying?!" his sister demanded, expression one of anger now. Suddenly it changed, however, to one of realization. "Unless... unless... you?"

Eren shook his head. "No, it wasn't me. I've been asleep all day."

"But you know who it was," Mikasa nearly whispered. "Is it... it's  _him,_  isn't it?"

Eren crouched down by Sasha wordlessly, fingers tracing over the bruised remains of her face. Shame. She used to be a fairly pretty girl. His fingers curled around the smooth wooden handle of the hatchet.

"Eren, we have to report him! Why have you let this go on so long?!"

"Because we love each other."

"That's no reason!" Mikasa hissed. "Eren, please! Just come with me. We'll report Levi, and I'm sure they'll let you off if you play victim!"

"Sorry," Eren said quietly, solemnly. "I didn't want to have to do this, but I can't have you blabbing."

"Eren..."

Mikasa seemed to understand. She knelt down and turned Eren around, wrapping her arms around his middle. She closed her eyes, burying her face in his shoulder and breathing deeply.

"... thanks for wrapping this scarf around me all those years ago."

And then she was silent, dead with a soft smile on her lips and tears pouring down her cheeks. Eren let a few tears fall himself, releasing the handle of the hatchet. It stayed buried in her spine, a nearly instant and merciful death for his sister. His hands went up to her hair, and he stroked it softly, inhaling her scent.

"You're welcome..."

.-.-.-.-.

 _Didn't want to kill her. It hurt. It hurt more than I thought it would._   _But it would hurt more if I lost Levi, so I did it._

_Wearing her scarf now. It smells like her. Guess the things that you lose always find their way back to you, huh?_

_She's been buried in a beautiful place in the forest with lots of flowers. I asked Levi to make sure of it, and he understood. After all, the most important people in his life didn't get burials..._

_I love him so much. I hope he knows that._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ONE MORE CHAPTER! ONLY ONE IMPORTANT SURVIVOR! Who will it be??? Tell me in your reviews who you think will make it!
> 
> Review, follow, and favorite my lovelies!
> 
> Ja ne~


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter dudes
> 
> thank you guys so much for sticking around.
> 
> votes for who will die -
> 
> Levi: 4
> 
> Eren: 3
> 
> Armin: 4
> 
> I was honestly surprised at those that picked Armin. Anyways, without further ado... the end.

"What the hell is that?"

When Eren first heard the words, he had no idea just how strongly they would impact the rest of his short life. Didn't know of the horrible things that were about to come. Was unaware of how his life was about to be turned upside down. Levi was sheathing his swords and bracing his feet on the tree he was latched into, staring off in the distance while the newest cadets halted in their training. Eren tried harder to focus on what he was seeing.

"People?" he murmured, furrowing his brows.

"A lot of them," one of the cadets commented, a girl with long brown hair braided over her shoulder. She frowned, latching onto a tree on the outskirts of the forest to get a closer look. "It's the Military Police."

"Are they coming to appoint a new Commander?" another cadet asked hopefully.

Levi's face hardened and set as he caught a better look at the horde of soldiers walking down the path. "Somehow I don't think so," he muttered. Suddenly he snapped into action, barking out orders. "All of you, gather your gear and go back to headquarters! I'll take care of this. No matter what you hear or see, do not come outside, am I clear?"

Eren was ready to question him, but he paused. The cadets didn't need to see Humanity's Hope and Humanity's Strongest arguing over the best course of action. They had to agree, then disagree in private. "Listen to Captain Levi. Make sure everyone else knows to stay in as well."

The cadets hastened to obey, and Eren hooked into the tree beside Levi, opening his mouth to ask him what happened. That was when he saw it. Blades at the ready, steps quick and hurried, the MPs were clearly not there to drink tea and talk politics. They were a hostile force, and the realization made his stomach drop.

"Shit," he cursed quietly. "What do they want?"

Levi was silent, grabbing Eren's hand a pressing a gentle kiss to the palm. That only worried him further. What was he thinking?

"They must be here for us."

Everything was silent. For several moments, the world stopped. Then Eren was doing his best not to sound as hysterical as he felt, nearly crushing his lover's hand as he gripped it like a lifeline.

"What do you mean? They can't be. There's no way they could know. There's no way..."

But then his breath hitched. Levi was staring him in the eyes with the sort of helpless, serene calm that Erwin had when he knew he was going to die, and suddenly Eren remembered, and Levi knew.

"You didn't kill him, did you?"

"I... I'd hoped..."

"You thought a titan would get him. You thought you wouldn't have to kill him."

"I couldn't kill him, Levi." Tears were spilling over and falling to the forest floor below. He was so stupid. He'd made a mistake, and Levi was going to have to pay for it. "I'm so sorry Levi, I'm sorry, god I fucked up and I'm sorry -"

"I don't resent you for it, Eren." Levi's voice was gentle, resigned, but still held so much love it made Eren's chest ache. "This was bound to happen sooner or later anyways."

"B-But our dream - we were going to go see the ocean - together, remember?"

Levi looked ready to cry himself, but he schooled his face into a mask of emptiness and shook his head. "It was a naïve dream. It never could have come true. It... it was just an illusion we created for ourselves."

"Don't say that," Eren pleaded. "We can still make it. We can escape from this alive. Please, Levi. For me?"

Levi didn't respond, and everything was turning into static in Eren's ears, the edges of his vision blurring. Just as the raven opened his mouth to say something, a different voice reached them, one that both of them hated so dearly. A voice that meant their demise.

"Captain Levi! You are required by law to come to us peacefully, both of you!"

Levi didn't fight it, landing gracefully on his feet with Eren right behind him. They faced the Military Police commander with lowered gazes, the captain silent and shifter trying not to cry. Nile Dawk signaled for his men to surround them, and Eren reached for Levi's hand again, biting his lip hard as he tried to keep himself grounded. A gun poked harshly at his back, and Levi jerked Eren away from the offending item as Nile's voice rang out.

"If you turn titan, we'll kill you in an instant," he warned, and Eren realized how close he was to drawing blood. He forced himself to release his lip, squeezing his eyes shut instead. "Hands where we can see them, you sick bastard," Nile directed at the captain, and Levi raised his hands slowly, lifting his gaze to glare harshly at Nile, making the man squirm under his stare. "Hands separated, or we'll shoot you both."

Eren let out a muffled whimper when Levi untangled their fingers obediently, and he did his best not to break down on the spot. Fear coursed through his veins, raw and vicious and stronger than he'd ever felt before. Everything hurt. His chest was hollow and aching, and his jaw hurt from where he was clenching it. The gun pressed into his lower back again, and he squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to let the tears fall. If they shot him now, he would either turn titan and be annihilated, or he would writhe around on the ground and bleed to death, in unbearable agony.

"Care to tell us what we're accused of?" Levi spat venomously, a spark of remaining defiance flaring at the mistreatment of his lover. "You are required by law to list off charges."

"Captain Levi has been charged with murdering Reiner Braun, Bertholdt Hoover, Jean Kirstein, Hanji Zoe, Moblit Berner, Krista Lenz, and Ymir."

The voice that answered them was not Nile's, and the two at gunpoint found their blood running cold. The crowd of soldiers were parting before them, and a familiar face was approaching. Eren felt his heart stop, or perhaps it was beating so rapidly he couldn't tell it was beating at all.

"He has also been accused of murdering Erwin Smith, Mike Zacharius, Connie Springer, Sasha Braus, and Mikasa Ackerman." Armin's voice wavered towards the end and Eren could see the effort he was putting forth to not cry. "Eren Jaeger has been accused as an accomplice and enabler. You are to show at a military courtesy trial, in which we will decide whether to imprison Levi for life or give the death sentence, and determine whether Eren Jaeger is guilty and what his sentence shall be."

"Armin." Eren hadn't realized his mouth and throat were so dry, and it hurt to speak. The tears somehow managed not to fall, but they were there, choking him up and making speech difficult. "Armin... you... you're alive."

Nile nudged the small blond meaningfully, raising his eyebrows, and Armin nodded quietly in response. "Eren," he started softly, "I can get you out of this. Please, Eren, just plead innocent. We can get charges dropped. You were threatened."

"But I'm not innocent," Eren croaked, and Levi's head whipped around, eyes boring into him. "Armin, I let it all happen..."

"He pleads guilty," Nile said coldly, but Armin took a step forward, tears threatening to spill over.

"No, Nile, please! He - he hasn't done anything!"

"He admitted to it, Arlert! Stand down!"

"He has Stockholm, sir, he's deluded by his feelings -"

"No, Armin!"

Eren interrupted them in a hoarse shout, but Levi didn't let him say any more. A twisted grin was settling on his lips, but Eren could see the raw fear in his eyes, the wild desperation even as he spoke in a manic hysteria.

"Blondie's right," he said, taking a step closer to Nile, and instantly a dozen or more guns were pointed at him. Levi seemed unfazed even as Eren wanted to scream. "I killed them. All of them! Jaeger was just a pawn, a shield to hide behind! I have him wrapped around my little finger." The words stung, but they were He's done nothing wrong. Let him go."

"Levi, no!" Eren nearly shrieked. "I did it too! Don't try to shoulder it all, Levi, god, please -"

 _"Let him go!"_ Levi screamed, an inhuman noise, even as Eren tried to deny his claims.

"No! Don't listen to him! I'm a murderer, kill me too, take me away!"

"Arlert, you told me -"

"Sir, he can't be a killer, he's trying to fool us, I promise -"

Levi was coming closer and closer to Nile, and Eren saw his finger curl around the trigger of the gun. Saw the decision made in those cruel eyes. Saw the unwavering resolve. It all played in slow motion, and Eren knew without a doubt that his lover was about to die.

"Levi!"

"Don't shoot!"

"Get back here!"

All Eren knew was he was pushing Levi out of the way, and then there was a loud crack and excruciating pain exploded in his abdomen. He barely registered a scream and several gasps, and then loud shouting, demands. Who was saying what, he didn't know. All he could do was curl up in agony on the ground, hoarse sobs and whimpers escaping him, so pathetic he didn't recognize them as his own. Strong arms were wrapping around him, turning him on his back. Gentle hands held his own, which were shielding the source of the pain.

"Step away from him, Levi!"

"We will shoot!"

"Eren, oh god, _Eren..._ "

The only voice that mattered was Levi's, because had he ever heard that tone come from the captain? Eren couldn't dwell on it very well. He was still letting out the pitiful noises. He felt like his gut was on fire, or something was digging away at it, something with vicious claws and teeth. His hands were warm and wet and sticky, but it wasn't computing.

"L-Levi - can't - _h-hurts-!"_

"Shh, Eren, I know." That voice he loved so much was practically a whimper as well, trembling and hitching just as much as Eren's own. Men were shouting all around them, ordering Levi to back away from him, but Levi was ignoring them. He tried to move the brunet's hands, only to earn a loud cry and whimper. "God, Eren, I know it hurts. Look at me, please, open your eyes and look at me."

Eren had never heard Levi beg like that before, not for anything. When he obeyed, he couldn't even be surprised at the tears trailing down those cheeks. He was in too much pain, he had to be dying, it hurt so much-!

"Eren, breathe, it's going to be okay, you'll be okay, just move your hands for me."

"L-Le-vi-!" He couldn't manage the words. How was he supposed to tell Levi he _couldn't_ move? It hurt too much, and the childish illusion that holding the wound would stop the pain was the only thing he was clinging to in his desperation. _It hurts, it hurts, it hurts!_ No matter how many times he screamed it in his mind, nobody could hear, and that hurt just as much.

"Shit, Eren, I know," Levi crooned, voice shaking.

"Don't make us warn you again!" The voices were fuzzy in the background, and Levi overwhelmed them with his presence.

"You have to do this for me, okay?" Eren hesitantly raised his hands, sobs hitching in his throat. He couldn't breathe. Suddenly the pain exploded, doubled, tripled with the pressure put on it, and he let out a broken wail, nails digging into his lover's forearms. "Eren, god, I know. Please, just bear with me. Stay strong."

"C-Can't, Le-vi - g-gonna die, Levi, L-Levi -"

"You're not going to die." Levi's forehead rested against his, wet warmth dripping onto Eren's face. Blood? Tears? He couldn't tell. "Eren, I need you to do something for me." All Eren could give in response was a high-pitched whine. "I need you to think about our dream. Tell me about it, Eren."

"O-Ocean - y-you, me, togeth-er." Eren wasn't sure how he was managing the words, but Levi's eyes were full of pride, and it seemed to be helping him forget the pain the tiniest bit. "A-Alone -"

"Right. I promised you. Nobody is going to take that away from us, are they?" Levi's voice hardened, though he still fumbled with his words here and there. "Nobody, Eren. Protect our dream. They're trying to take it from us."

Who was? A wave of anger crashed into Eren without warning, and he gritted his teeth against another pitiful wail. Who was trying to take their dream away?! He would - he would kill them - he would protect their dream-!

There was a crash of thunder, a powerful shockwave that sent soldiers flying, and the pain was suddenly gone, replaced with rage. A guttural roar rent the air, and the ground shook when the titan took a step toward Nile, who was now a good distance away thanks to the blast. His hand darted out instinctively and he swiped at the ranks of soldiers, hoisting up the Military Police Commander as though he were a toy. Or rather, a treat, because without thinking, the officer was in his mouth and screaming all the way down his throat before he could even process his own actions, and worse still -

Eren enjoyed it.

Before he could go after anyone else, a harpoon latched into his face, and he nearly rampaged until Levi zipped into view, landing on his nose and holding his hair for support. "Eren, we have to leave!" he shouted. "Now! Run!"

Even in a blind rage, Levi was the only person he would ever obey. He took off blindly in a random direction, and Levi relocated to his shoulder, clinging to the brown locks the best he could. Somewhere past the anger, a primal instinct told Eren to protect his lover, to not let any harm come to Levi, and he followed it to the letter.

.-.-.-.-.

He didn't know how long Eren had been running, didn't know how long he'd been holding onto the titan for dear life, didn't know how far they were from headquarters. All he knew was he was exhausted from having to try so hard not to fall, and sick with concern. Levi rapped a fist against Eren's jaw, getting the shifter's attention.

"Eren, we have to stop, you're going to exhaust yourself!"

It was too late for that, but Eren ignored him and kept moving. Levi's brows furrowed and his lips turned down in a frown. Hadn't Eren had a difficult time listening before, too? Warning bells went off in Levi's head, and he barked out at his subordinate.

"Eren, I said stop!"

When the titan made no move to stop, only an indignant rumbling noise, the bells turned into sirens. Eren never rejected him like this. He could still hear the undercurrents of anger in that growl, and he quickly made up his mind, latching onto the back of the shifter's neck and pulling out his blades. Before any protest could be made, before he could question himself, he was cutting into the nape of the neck, digging in deep enough and in the perfect shape to reach in and grab for the brunet.

His heart stuttered when he saw just how fused the boy was with the titan flesh. It took more effort than usual to yank him out of the rapidly disintegrating form, and when he landed on the ground he was horrified by the mangled mess that was his lover's body. His face seemed mostly intact, with bits of flesh missing around the eyes where he was typically attached. The boy's breathing was ragged and hardly there, and his wounds didn't seem to be healing.

"Shit," he breathed, kneeling down and cradling the boy to his chest. "Shit, this is my fault, I made you shift..."

Eren blinked his eyes open blearily, and they were foggy still, giving Levi the impression that he was blinded. "Captain? What... what happened?"

"What do you remember?" Levi asked him in return. Eren squinted off in the distance, thinking hard.

"I remember I was in a lot of pain, and there were MPs, and..." His voice was quiet and cracking, as usual, but usually it would be strengthening by now. "That's really it. Levi, why can't I see...?"

Levi exhaled shakily as the realization hit him. He only clutched Eren closer to his chest as he spoke, tears trying to leak from his eyes again. "I don't think you're going to see again, Eren," he admitted quietly.

"Not going to...?" The tint of fear was there, but it was smothered by exhaustion. "What do you mean?"

"I made a mistake. You shifted under dangerous circumstances. I don't think we're going to see the ocean."

His voice was so solemn, so resigned, but Eren couldn't bring himself to be concerned with it. He nuzzled into the warmth his lover provided, barely noticing how cold he was. "Oh. Why not? Well... tell me later. I'm tired..."

Levi pressed a loving kiss to the boy's forehead, whispering, "Of course. Sleep well, Eren."

As the boy's eyes closed for the last time, Levi stared at his blade contemplatively. Silently, he held the wicked sword's point to his chest, closing his eyes.

He embraced his death with open arms, knowing he'd meet up with Eren in hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FIN~
> 
> Comments please! Thank you all so much for reading!
> 
> Last sign off for this fic...
> 
> Ja ne~

**Author's Note:**

> Short first chapter, I know. This will have varying chapter lengths, but you'll see a pattern soon enough *winkwink*
> 
> I am so excited for this, aren't you all?


End file.
